Halloween Company

We were blessed to have a houseful of good friends for the Halloween Holiday! The Sorensen Family came to spend the weekend with us! It was FANTASTIC!
They arrived late on thrusday night and we could barely get the kids settled down! They were SO happy to see each other again! :)

We made yummy applesauce pancakes and fresh eggs for breakfast the next morning. Amy & Austin went to the temple and Jess and I kept all the kids here to play! It was really cold outside... but they played together SO well! We even added a neighbor kid or two! LOL
Life size Candyland on DVD was a huge hit!

Everyone got to play! And with 11 kids in the house... it got loud! LOL

Our "little men" together again! Sam, Caleb & Britton. Caleb was IN HEAVEN!

I wish I could say I took a ton more photos... but we had such a great time I did not even think about it! :P

Friday evening Emma watched all 9 kids (bless her heart and thank you DVD player) while the adults went out to dinner. We enjoyed Carrabba's... oh yeah! So good!

The next morning I joined Amy on a photo shoot of the neighbor's family! I took my camera and played with settings I just learned from my photography class. Here is one or two of my fav's:
We played at the old cabboses in Salem

ha ha! Sorry Aim! Couldn't resist!

They are such a cute family!

On the way home we stopped at the grocery store and picked up all the fixin's for Mummy Hot Dogs. We had lunch and had craft time. By this day (Halloween) it had warmed up enough to send them outside to play! Yeah!

We got them all ready for Halloween and off to the ward trunk or treat we went. The kids had a great time! I ended up facing the sun in the back of the car and within 20 minutes had to go home to lay down and get my heart back in rythum. It was not so fun to have to miss out... but everyone else got to visit all the neighbors for me. (Next year we are doing our Halloween party tradition for the neighborhood again... I liked that better! :) )

We came back to the house and while Jestin and Austin took care of the baby and got the scones cooking... Amy and I took the kids out trick or treating. It was really fun! I haven't been strong enough to go with my kids in over 3 years! I really enjoyed it!

We got back and they were W.I.L.D. with excitement! There was a great piling up of treats and swapage going on! LOL

As it got later Amy got them going some moves to create Zen! Bwahahaha! It was a hoot! The kids LOVED it!

Be the tree. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Meanwhile the little ones were lost to the balloon toys they had gotten.

Cam needed a treatment from running about in the cold outside.

We ate chili and scones and got ready for bed. Well... ok. The kids went to bed. We adults stayed up until we felt cross eyed playing cards. *GRIN*

We all got up and went to church the next morning. It was so sad to see them leave after church and lunch. We really miss them all and can't wait for their quick stop in the Saturday after Thanksgiving on their way home from family's!

Ely is just too far away!!!!!!! LOL

She is leaving the nest...

Well... ok... only for a couple of hours to trick or treat but still! It was the 1st year we let her get together with friends and set out on their own for the evening.

She planned it for over a week. I was excited for her and knew she would be fine. We live in a great neighborhood! We got them all ready to go... and last minute gave her Daddy's cell phone (her friend had to call home in one hour) and out the door and down the steps they went... that Zombie Cheerleader, Draco Malfoy and a One-eyed, One-horned, Flying Purple People Eater!

And this Mom burst into tears! WOW! It was like sending her to kindergarten for the first time! LOL I didn't think I was upset about it until she walked away into the dark!

Time flies! Babies grow WAY too fast!!!

She had a complete blast! She was pumped when she got home. She turns twelve tommorow and it is really surreal. She wants to go make-up shopping for her birthday. We are going to do baptisms for the dead with her grandparents. She wants an official "curfew". She goes to her first Young Women's activity tomorrow night. And yesterday was her last day of Primary.

Growing pains I tell ya! Growing pains!!!!!!!

Halloween Costumes 2009

A Zombie Cheerleader

A scary skeleton

A bat (though everyone thought he was batman and it kind of annoid him! LOL)

The "Good" Spiderman

And our houseful of kids... more info to come... :)

Pumpkin Patch - Oct 22 2009

Wake up McKenly!! We are at the pumpkin patch!!

Off we went to the pumpkin patch! It was Gram's 50th birthday and that is what she wanted to do for her birthday..... take the Grandkids to pick pumpkins! (she is such a fun grandma! LOL)

Off the two little one's went....

Cam found "the one".... multiple times! :)

Emma tried to help Caleb make up his mind...

But big brother Cody did it! This is "it"!!!

Mom thought this one was cool! Too bad it didn't stand up! How cool of a pumpkin would that have been!? LOL... any votes on what it would have carved into??

Kenly, her Mommy and baby brother...

Kenly found hers too!

Look at our pile!

CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

Then we headed to the hay maze... oh so much fun!!!!!!!!

Peek-A-Boo Mommy!!!!!!

Hey there Cammer Man!

I hope she enjoyed her birthday. She so loves watching the Grandkids play... and she was headed for back surgery a few days later... so it was a good distraction! ;)

(btw - all went well and she is healing beautifully!)

We are ready to go!

These kids are growin' fast! Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!!!

School is taking a back burner...

I am very sad to report... we are closing doors on the Dorius Academy for a little while. We have had a series of unfortunate events that require Mom to be a Realtor/Office Manager more than a teacher right now... so Cody is headed to school.

He is really sad. I just can't stomach the thought of him getting behind... and financially I need the time I use for school to invest in finding ways to bring in more income for now.

This is likely temporary... but we are all doing what he have to do as a family to make ends meet... even Cody going back to school.

He is pleased the local charter school has room for him... so he won't be stuck in the same predicament of being held back by the bureaucracy of regular public school. So that is good. Say a prayer for Cody would you? He is really nervous about getting back into the swing of things. And so am I. :)

Sad to say goodbye...

Emma woke up on tuesday to her hamster Shadow acting very strange. Within a couple of hours Shadow was gone. Shadow was Emmalee's first pet all her own. She took VERY good care of her! There was only once or twice she went any longer than a week without cleaning Shadow's cage. Shadow was a beloved part of our family. We will miss you Shadow!!

Grandma Kettle's and Grandpa Pa's Farm

Last weekend we went out to see my cousin's baby get blessed and we took our trailer and camped on the farm. The kids loved the little bit of exploring we did after church. I have TONS of REALLY CUTE PICTURES but after a week of trying to get blogger to let me add them I am left with just these ones... and a sad heart. All the photos make me smile! grr!

I loved my grandpa's farm. There is such a serenity there... and even though my uncle owns it now and my cousin lives in my grandma's house and has changed it so much, it doesn't change my memories or my love of the familiar sights and smells and walks down memory lane.

Coming out of the dark?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my life... and about the last phases of my life. I have felt very lost and numb and alone. I didn't know that was how I was feeling... I was just feeling it.

As things have come to a close the last few weeks... I have had many "cleaning out of the closets" of skeletons that have haunted me. Poor Jess has dealt with a lot. And he has chased his own demons per se as well. We both have really felt distant and far away from reality. We have avoided friends and family as we tried to make sense of it all. And we have been down, grumpy and tried to always put on a happy face when we were strong enough to do it.

And looking back I realize it is depression.

Now... what in the world would we have to be depressed about? What would I have to be depressed about? Huh. Well most of the online info on heart patients I have read states that depression follows surgery and such. Maybe? And that the family and caregivers struggle too. Or maybe it has been the decline of income to the point of almost loosing our home? Maybe? Or maybe it has been the mess that has occurred with our taxes to make us in debt to the IRS - which that alone is frightening! And let's not even go into the chaos of the American Democracy and government! I wonder... could those have something to do with it?

But mostly I wonder if it isn't Satan standing beside us whispering in our ears that it is too hard, we are too weak, we can't do it anymore... etc etc etc.

I tend to believe it is all of the above. And yet... I found some hope. I found a path back. I found "ME" again! Or at least I hope I have...

I have been reading my journals from the last few years in our old house. WOW! I was so strong then! I had such faith. I had such hope. I poured out my heart and soul and found solace in my journal back then.

I am so humbled to have found my journal; to have searched for the info for my post about our 3rd anniversary in the house - it has blessed my heart, my soul and given me some serious direction... I need my journal!

I think we are commanded to write in our journals for our own welfare! I feel such strength from looking at where we have been to wonder why I am allowing myself to wallow in this now?

I have not written in my journal for over 4 months... and the time before that it was 5+ months. I have thought that my blog was enough.

I know now it is not.

It is fun! I love to blog and share and see my "scrapbook", if you will, come to view, but I don't share it all with the blogging world. I have not published some the darker posts I have written, for fear of what someone might think of me and my attitude at times. How could I be so "ungrateful" for my life? I almost lost it! how could I even consider to not feel immense gratitude everyday for the chance to still be here? How wicked am I for allowing myself to even question such a gift?

*I* need the private thoughts, insights, feelings and strength from being honest with myself and "talking out" my emotions/feelings/trials/joys/etc! I need to sort it out on my own with myself. If that makes any sense... :P

I would like to write in my journal every Sunday (at least) from now on. I need the written proof that we are progressing and growing and becoming better for these paths we tread now.

I am so thankful for my knowledge to write and read and journal.

We ran away last Friday...

AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!!!
We really have been missing all the best friends in our family... so we pulled Cam out of school (hokey at 7! :0 I am such a naughty mom! *grin*) and the boys and I hit the road! We met one of our favorite families in Delta... about half way between our houses!

We converged on the McDonald's playland and stayed for a few hours...

We ate... we talked... we laughed....

We ate.... *grin*

Oh! And we drank....

But most of all we played! We played with our bestest friends!

These two especially needed this time together... it's hard to loose the chance to have your best friend 2 doors down at age 7 man!

Where has the time gone?? This little princess is SO big!! :(

Ahh... and of course these two really needed this time together as well!

Laughter, Smiles and Fun...

I don't think any one of them would be upset if we did it again!

I think even for the little ones the drive was worth the trip!

Hey Momma! I want some ice cream too!

OOOO.... what in the world is that??? That is cold!!! LOL

We are plotting another rendezvous... Good friends are always worth the effort! ;)

3 years ago today...

We moved into our brand new home!

I can't believe it has been 3 years! This move forever changed our family's lives...

I don't know if many of you know, but our last home, which was our 1st home, made our family sick. Very sick. It was a lovely older home in American Fork. We LOVED it! It had a great covered front porch with a swing! It had original wood floors and was completely re-done inside. It was LOVELY! And cozy! And well... it was home!

The problem was... the kids started getting sick... a lot! Emma was the 1st. She started with a cold the weekend of my only sister's wedding and within hours of the ceremony we had to have her admitted to the hospital because she was turning blue and couldn't breathe! So the flower girl was not there and the Matron Of Honor was torn between two places she really needed to be! LOL It was a mess!

In the months and years that followed we had kids admitted to the hospital over and over and over again. Asthma turned into pneumonia. Collapsed lungs. Every cold, flu, cat or hairy dog would trigger a endless array of breathing treatments, steriods, Dr. visits and hospitalizations. All in all between the 3 older kids they have been admitted to the hospital and stayed more than 3 days over 15 times.

Shortly after Cam was born we had one 14 day period where we had BOTH Emma and Cody in the hospital at once! They were so little that they shared the top of the bed while baby Cameron and I snuggled at the bottom of the bed at night, while Jess worked hard trying to keep things going at home and at work. Those were some really dark times for our family. We felt as though we walked on egg shells, never knowing what would set them off this time. Cam was only 9 months old when he started his bi-monthly hospitilaztions... and there were many visits when his lungs would collapse and we would wonder if this was his time to go home to our Heavenly Father or if he would pull through. Many times his only saving grace were priesthood blessings. It was one of my hardest trials. As the mom, you just want to be able to fix it for your kids... and there was nothing I could do but pray and pray and pray!

During this same time frame, Jestin was laid off multiple times - we are talking 11 months out of 20 with 4 different jobs in between. It was post 9/11 and the economy was bad for electricians. He worked handyman jobs, odd jobs and we even sold almost all we owned in multiple yard sales to make ends meet and to pay for the crushing medical bills. But we always paid our tithing, and our fast offerings, and somehow we made all the payments. Somehow they were never late. Somehow we made it through.... but only with our faith and God's help.

After about a year of the kids in and out of the hospital, we noticed some strange substance on the kids bedroom wall. It was black mold. When we tore out the sheetrock we found there had been a hole in the foundation which the people who re-modeled it (flipped it) filled with bathtub chalk. It was bad. Add that to the fact we learned that our home used to be a meth house and we were 2 for 2! We had to stay because of our financial situation and felt so trapped and uncertain!

For months we prayed and fasted and prayed and fasted. We HAD to move! Our kids lives were on the line! After another year and half it finally worked out and after looking at over 100 exisiting homes we realized our only safe option was to build.

Thank heavens for our new home!! Our children's health has improved by leaps and bounds! Cam has only been hospitalized ONCE since we moved here! Emma still gets pneumonia often, but we can manage it at home and Cody's asthma is almost non-existant! Our greatest blessing is that Caleb has no signs of lung damage. He survived his 12 months in that home with no adverse effects!

It was SUCH an exciting time for us to be building! We moved into an apartment while it was being built and EVERYDAY we came to check on the progress!! It was so fun!!

Our first night owning the new house - the night before we moved in - we ate dinner on the kitchen floor. We ordered Pizza and laughed and talked and could barely sleep that night! We had a new, clean, safe place to bring our babies!

We love our new home! We love our neighborhood and neighbors. We are so thankful for miracles such as these in our life! We know this home was an answer to earnest prayers... and we thank our Heavenly Father everyday for this gift!

Finding Joy in the Journey...

Spewage Removal

My apologies for anyone who read my "spewage" post tonight. I really needed to get some uglies out and thought I would feel better blogging about them. I was wrong. It didn't feel good to leave it here.

So I need to post some GOOD. I need the good tonight... :)

* My heart has only been "naughty" to me twice this in the last month. That is HUGE.
* My calling is coming together! I love my new assistant! We have some great plans to bless some families when they are ready to receive what we have to give. Emergency Preparedness is all about giving peace to others. I am really excited about it.
* Cody was messaging with my sister telling her we have done very little "big stuff" for home school. I am thankful to know that my teaching methods are natural to receive. He has learned a TON the last few weeks with canning, finance and business management. Science, math, chemistry, home ec... what more could a boy want? LOL. Apparently tomorrow we need some worksheet work. *giggle*
* Caleb has been so naughty lately I felt at my wits end with him - until tonight. He did something good... and I got on his level... eye to eye... and thanked him and gave him a hug... he was SO GOOD the rest of the day! He was LOOKING for ways to please me. I need to be better at showing affection, acknowledgement and appreciation.
* Cameron and I did his homework tonight together. He is the spotlight tomorrow and we made a book all about him. It was a lot of fun.
* Emmalee had her first crash on the skateboard she saved her money for. I am so thankful it was only a skinned up knee. So thankful!
* Sadie (our adopted yorkie) was actually well behaved today.
* I bought the kids some of their favorite cereal today. They were all really excited.
* I got to spend a few minutes alone being just a friend with a dear friend today that never has time to herself, let alone time for friends.
* My sweetheart and I snuggled up on our bed and watched our favorite TV show together tonight. It was nice to be near his warmth and presence.

Life is good. I am blessed. I need not fear or worry or stress. FAITH NOT FEAR! Gratitude brings forth the blessing from heaven!