A new Deacon...

(In Order - left to right - his Papa Dorius, Dad, Bishop Wilkey, Cody, Papa Stoddard and Uncle Kevin)

Cody was Ordained a Deacon this last Sunday, July 10th.

He wanted it to be quiet and simple, so we just had his Grandpa's and Uncle Kevin (who happily just happened to be passing through on their way back to Tucson) come down for it. 

All the Priesthood Holders 

Everyone who came:

Gr'Annie, Papa Stoddard, Cameron, Mom, Dad, Cody, Caleb, Papa Dorius, Gram, Cousin Jake, Uncle Kevin, Cousin Amanda, Aunt Becky & Emmalee 

We are so HAPPY for him!! 

Our Family

July 10th, 2011 

3 Generations 

And two of the Stoddard Grandson Deacons! :)

It was a beautiful day!!

All about Cody:

Our tall and growing one turned 12 today!

He wanted homemade buttermilk pancakes for breakfast.

We went shopping for clothes for his first time really ever, and he got all new Sunday clothes.

He will be Ordained a Deacon this Sunday. 

Here are some fun facts about Cody:

•  He loves to read. He spends a lot of his time buried in a book on his bed.
• He loves to play on his Nintendo DS, he has requested Pokemon Black for his birthday.
• Cody's best friend is Emmalee
• He has a group of friends at school that includes girls and boys. He attended his 1st co-ed birthday party a couple weekends ago.
• He loves to eat pancakes and waffles with peanut butter and syrup.
• His favorite meal is my Homemade Winger's Chicken, celery sticks, ranch dressing and hot rolls.
• He has an awesome sense of humor - if you can get him past his shyness. LOL
• Cody is no respecter of shoes. If he needs to go outside he will grab the closest flip-flops around and wear them! LOL
• He would be happy eating PB&J every day for lunch.
• He hates to ride scooters or bikes, as he has no depth perception.
• His favorite candy is Reeces Peanut butter cups... and so cookies of course are RPBC Cookies!
• Cody's favorite cereal is Honey Nut Cherrios, Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Waffle Crisp
• His favorite color is Aqua Blue.
• He likes to watch Jimmy Neutron (a cartoon)
• He loves to go camping, but is nervous for his first week long Scout camp.
• He completed his Faith In God booklet this week! LOL Just in time! *wink*

Cody has an amazing testimony, and is constantly asking us questions to learn more and more and more. He is a smartie pants! LOL

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CODY!!!!

We are so very very blessed to have you in our family!!!!!!!
We LOVE YOU!!

Temple Day w/Emmalee

We have been trying to plan a date for Emmalee to go to the Temple with Jes and I since she got her recommend when she turned 12. The first year we kept trying to work it out that her Grandparents could come too, but there were surgeries, illnesses, trips, monthly "aunt" visits, etc. Always something. (ha ha isn't that *always* how it is when trying to go to "The Place that Must Not Be Named"?

She turned 13 last November. She had gone with a friend, and she went with her Young Women's group, but we had not made it there as a family. We planned to go on our Family's Sealing Date - December 6th. I had a stroke early that morning!

(what the?? LOL)

SO... she has been wonderfully patient and waited - but enough was enough! Emma and I secretly wrote a date on the calendar. We did not say it out loud. But we agreed on a date and time. Daddy couldn't make it - but we went anyway!

And just she and I went! It was a very sweet experience.

Thanks Em for being so patient...

and here is yet another reason why at our house attending the Temple is referred to as "Going to The-place-that-must-not-be-named." Satan seems to not understand that secret code name! LOL

Salem Pond Swimming Day

It was finally in the 90's for a day or two.

We decided to go play in the water at Salem Pond.

Emma and Cody swam and swam... 

Cub and Cam swam some, but loved the beach and the little stream that lead to the ponds even better. 

Cam found some fishing line and tied it to a stick. He pulled it up and down the little water falls all along the stream.

Caleb and Cody watching their sticks float. 

Then Em joined the fun... 

I got to sit and enjoy the heat (ha ha... not!) and watch my babies play! 

Caleb's giggle is awesome! 

Oh he is a cutie!! 

Cameron discovered if he blocked the water with his hiney... the sticks would have a faster race!

Bwahahahahaha! 

He and Caleb did it for almost a hour before their Mommy was too hot and it was time to go home!

We love summer!!!!!!

Me Like a Klondike!

No! No! No!

 Cody had some leg aches a couple of weeks ago...

Two days later TA DA!

Emma and Cody have been neck and neck for weeks... *sniff*

Cody is officially taller!!!!

 Whew!! At Eleven years old Daddy is still taller than him... barely LOL

But (Waaaaa!) He is taller than his Mommy!!!

My first child to out grow me...

Cody turns 12 in just a few days...

HE IS TOO BIG!!!!!!!

BYU Women's Conference - April 2011

I found this post in my drafts!

 (Ooops!)

So to add to the pictures... here is a recap :D

I was SOO tickled to be invited to join my dearest friend Amy and her Mom and friends at BYU's Women's Conference this year!

Campus was BEAUTIFUL!

After tons of late snow fall... the sight of spring flowers was food for the soul all by itself!

Like my Ma's always says... "Look at his happy face!"

Love these little happy flowers!

BYU Women's Conference Theme was

"By Small and Simple Things Are Great Things Brought to Pass"

Conference started at 9 am Thursday morning at the Marriot Center with an amazing talk from Virginia Pierce (Pres. Hinckley's daughter).

AMAZING. My thoughts I wrote down were:

•  Keep it Small. Keep it Simple. Give it Time.
• Prayer rests on the principle of faith - and it is an expression of our agency.
• We need God.
• We can find joy in adversity when we know it brings us to Christ.
• Temple attendance can change us, and brings us peace.
• If you don't get an answer to prayers, move forward! God trusts you! He won't let you go too far on the wrong path.
• Tender mercies are gifts from God ~ messages of His love for you.
• Prayer calls down the power of Heaven.
• Find our will IN His... that is the key.

After that we could go to a dozen or so classes for the next 90 min blocks.

There were so many wonderful class sessions! It was hard to choose!

Amy and I headed out onto campus and ended up in a class called

"Courageous Parenting: "Be strong and of a Good Courage; Be Not Affraid" (Joshua 1:9)

A few of my favorite thoughts from that class were:

•  As parents, we need to love our children enough to allow them to make choices and endure the consequences, positive or neagtive!
• We cannot excuse our children from experiencing hard things and expect them to develop character.
• Establish the "fabulous five" in your home: (1) Family Prayer (2) Family Home Evening (3) Family Dinner (4) Regular 1on1 Interviews (5) Family Scripture Study. I loved it even more when she referred to the above as "Eternal Traditions" - that they are are important for children just as any other family/holiday traditions. And something about calling them "Eternal Traditions" makes them seem more easy to want to do! LOL 

Our next class we found was
"Sisters Who Have Made Convenants with God... Are in for the Long Haul"
Here we learned about:

• "Being brilliant in the basics" (Julie Beck's talk)
• The scriptures are our sacred workbook.
• We need to be believing - "We make things holy by giving them to God" (Brad Wilcox)
• "Don't pace up and down in our cell of circumstance."
• Walk uprightly - When we keep the commandments we are happy, when we don't we aren't.
• Consider this when investing our time: Who's agenda does this support? God's or Satans. What will I give up to feel the Spirit?
• Keep your covenants, for God keeps His!
• The Holy Ghost comes without drama.
• God will fight our battles if we let Him.
• It is our responsibility to look for the sun in our lives!
• Evidences of the past show assurances of the future - God WILL show His love.

After that class, we headed back to the Marriott Center for the next class and some lunch. We each got a sandwich from BYU Catering. Oh my! I got a Turkey Cranberry on Multi-grain bread that was like a little slice of heaven!! *grin*

Our next classes in the Marriott Center were great! It was taken from the talk by Pres. Ezra Taft Benson, "The Best Measure of Greatness Is How Christlike We Are" given by Kathy Clayton
She was followed by Sister Elaine Dalton. Some things I took from this session were:

• There are NO ordinary people.
• Charity is a spiritual gift.
• It is a condition or state of the heart.
• Don't give up, don't get discouraged!
• SHARE THE LOVE inside you!

The Final session of the day was titled

The Legacy of Relief Society by John S. & Susan W. Tanner.

There were only a few things I wrote down during this session, as this was my first big outting since recovery and my handwritting was getting hard to do. So here are the nuggets from this one:

•  God knows us. There are things we need to do. People we need to help.
• "Hold your tongues - a little tell will set the world on fire" (D&C 25)
• "What comes next for willing hands to do?"
• "Welcome the task that takes you beyond yourself!"
• "If your labors are acceptable to God - you should never be discouraged"
• Most of the most noblest spirits ever on earth were women - Eve, Mary, Eve's faithful daughters.
• Testimony amid trial = our greatest treasure!

After the concluding session for the day, Amy and I went to the Service Stations they had available. We helped make newborn caps for the Humanitarian Services. It was HUGE! I have never seen so many women doing such great things all in one room - huge room. LOL It was really neat! They also had Sharing Stations - these amazing booths where other Sisters share their ideas for Relief Society meetings, Family Home Evening and even personal learning and growth! It was FANTASTIC!

We went to dinner at Brick Oven. OH YUM! Heaps A Pizza with their homemade rootbeer! *sigh* Just thinking about it makes me hungry! LOL

Then we met with Amy's mom and her friends at their hotel room and enjoyed some treats and visited for until almost 9:30 pm. It was SOO much fun! They were telling me that in the very room we were eating in (top floor snack/breakfast bar) they had seen Pres. Utchdorf that morning! They didn't say hello because he was getting his breakfast. I scolded them... hello? A quick handshake would have been really neat! The room was no bigger than my familyroom/dining/kitchen area! It's not like you would be "mobbing" him! *giggle* So... they got to "eat breakfast with Pres. Utchdorf" Bwahahaha!

I came home so spiritually fed I felt like I was glowing! What an experience!!!! I couldn't wait for the next day!

FRIDAY APRIL 29th

Our morning session was given by Julie B. Beck. She is amazing! I just wanted to go down and hug her! LOL My favorite thoughts were:

• Sometimes the messages we are asked to give are gifts.
• The word "relief" means "lifting up".
• R.S History strengthens and supports our identity as a daughter of God.
• Am I alligned with Heavenly Father's role for me? We cannot give our responsibility away!
• Entitlement - Who owes who? Jesus gave ALL (Luke 10)
• Through our difficulties we learn.
• No longer "I can do hard things" - change to "I DO hard things!"
• Faith is how the Lord heals us.
• With faith our difficulties become our opportunities.
• Go to the temple and pay attention!
• It is our  MY responsibility to make sure our home is blessed by Preisthood power every hour!
• Dont just accept He has a plan - LIVE IT.
• Until the R.S. History is in your heart, you won't be as strong as you can be.
• Go forward when you are tired! Think of the Savior's life.

I could have left after that session and been filled all day... but we had a full day's docket ahead of us! We walked over to the new Hinckley Alumni Center and attended:
"Preventing our Strengths from Becoming our Weaknesses" (taken from Dallin H. Oaks talk)
Here we learned that Satan can tempt us through our strengths as well as our weaknesses...

• Heavenly Father leaves many of our choices to ourselves; If we don't receive guidance, use our best judgement.
• Scriptures give us answers.
• Our expereiences with personal revelation need recorded and reviewed, and cherished!
• Excess of giving can be a weakness as well... "see that they are done in wisdom and order" with the proper TIME and MEANS. - Look to our husbands and Priesthood leaders for direction (D&C 104:14-16)
• Learned can become prideful - listen to the counsels of the Lord.
• Don't be like a gold fish in the bowl - unaware of changes of water and food - confess God's hands in all things!
• Love and tolerance are good - but incomplete unless based on true principles. Use love AND truth. *Dont try to bend the commandments to "accept" - "my love for you is not based on behavior". Use humilty! There's a difference between "tolerate" and "tolerance" - real love doesn't support destructive behavior. 
• Pride is a universal sin - Ask God daily "Lord... is it in this that I am proud?" Repent as needed.
• We can never have enough of what we don't need - it will never satisfy us.
• How else can God get our attention without guilt and misery?
• Become as a little child... humble, meek, submissive.
• Satan means to destroy us - he will approach us through our greatest strengths. (D&C 84:43)
• Our strengths are GIFTS from God!
• Are you carrying it to extreme?
• Callings come and go - Family is 1st priority!
• The quality of humility is the greatest protector (D&C 112:10)

After this session, Amy and I headed back to the Marriott Center for the rest of the afternoon (I was starting to wane - so we wanted to conserve energy for fun later in the day)

We stopped at the little booth and got us some Cafe Rio Salads (oh yeah! YUM!) and headed into enjoy the last of the 12:30 session. We were able to listen to most of the first speaker - but I couldn't take notes - luckily they have it online "Visiting Teaching: Making a Difference by Small and Simple Means " It was delightful! Then I was so tickled! We caught one of my favorite speakers next!

Mary Ellen Edmunds

She spoke on Visiting Teaching as well. Here are the little nuggets I took from her talk:

•  The Lord expects us to increase our offering!
• We will never be asked to do something "stupid" or unnecesary.
• Why does He let us help? "As Sisters in Zion..."
• PEOPLE are more important than programs!
• Open your heart, and shut your mouth.
• Why visit teach? "I know not... save the Lord commanded me."

After this session, we went out and got ourselves some candied almonds and kettle corn. What a fun treat! We came back in and enjoyed a session on "I Did Frankly Forgive Them" by the Osguthorpes. It was one of my favorites!

• Anger is dangerous - It almost always leads us to do something we will regret.
• "Frankly" means to be free, unburdened, unrestricted.
• Cycle: Rebeled - Grieved - Corrected - Became Angry - Hearts Softened - Pled - Forgave - Rejoiced.
• Cool down period... leads to softened hearts.
• We need to develop a forgiving heart - frankly forgive!
• They shared the amazing video of Chris Williams and his story of forgiveness (if you don't look at any of my other links - check this one out!)
• Would I forgive so instantly?
• Do I have to think it over?
• Forgiving heart is a way of being!
• *Make yourself a "To-Be" list instead of a "To-Do" list
• See things through others eyes
• Never shift blame
• When angry - dont place reaction on the PERSON (ever) only on the situation.
• You don't hate a person - you just don't understand them.
• Listen - See - Love - Forgive
• A forgiving heart requires perspective taking - see people how God sees them.
• Forgiveness does not mean we ignore evil!
• No excuses - Forgiveness is a CHOICE - a self-forgetful choice. Decide to follow God's path - Our desire will increase.
• Forgive over and over and over again.
• Act - don't be acted upon.
• When we no longer can be offended we will find peace and a forgiving heart!

Good stuff huh??

The last session was a real treat!! We sang "I feel my Savior's Love" and then we got to hear Elder and Sister Bednar. LOVED IT! Sister Bednar spoke about the importance of taking care of ourselves to be able to be our best: Go to bed early - Arise early - we will be invigorated mentally. Exercise. Eat Well.  Scriptures. Prayer. Small and Simple Things!

The place was packed!

I felt humbled to be surrounded by so many wonderful women, my sisters, seeking guidance and direction from our Heavenly Father.

It was a choice realization.

Elder Bednar taught us the following nuggets:

•  Patterns help us! Small and Simple Things are Patterns.
• He told the story of Gustafus Perry - from Perry Utah: he had us guess in our minds how many decendants Bro. Perry had in 7-8 generations. (In my mind I guessed 300-400) He has 10,000 righteous decendents because he lived a gospel centered life! Enough for 3 church Stakes! (wow!) He lived by small and simple things!
• He shared the story of how the organ on Temple Square came to be. By small and simple things.
• Small and Simple things are like a drip irrigation vs. flooding... We all need a gospel "drip" in our lives. Steadiness is better - consistency.
• He told the story of the 10 virgins.
• Deliberate consistent performance fills our lamps!
• We need to become deep intelligent drippers, not spiritual spurters.
• He then gave us a blessing: According to our desires we are blessed with eyes to see and a capacity to press forward in small and simple things to bring great things to pass.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

Here is "Mom" and her friends :)

And Amy and I after it was over! (I was so sad to have it be over!)

Our Jestin-mobile

Hee Hee

Couldn't resist taking this picture!

We teased Jes that he is our car power now... you know... like the Flinstone's? 

We are SOOO very blessed to have a Husband/Daddy that can fix our car so we can get around!

He is SOO smart and clever!

WE LOVE YOU JES!!

Thanks for fixin' our wheels!

PaCkInG
pAcKiNg
TaPiNg
tApInG
BoXeS
bOxEs
TiReD
tIrEd
TIRED!

(hee hee)

An answer.
It's not a resolution...
but it's an answer!
(Yea!)

The bank has taken our home off the docket for sale on Tuesday. We can stay a few more weeks!
WAHOO!!
I have wanted to cry all day. I keep tearing up.
Not crying for joy, nor crying for sad.
I wonder if it isn't for the sorrow of more uncertainty? And peace for not leaving our home this Tuesday with a long stretch of limbo housing? It is definately a mixed emotion.

So... we are glad for an answer... even though it is just one simple one. *wink*

Less than a week...

The bank's sale date for our house is less than a week away. Still no news from them. We have all our paperwork in to them - like always - but "it could take up to 30 days to review" and we don't have that kind of time. So really it's sunshine up our back end so they can get what they want.

Our house is mostly packed just in case. The kids keep laughing that it will be like Christmas when they get to re-open their boxes and re-do their rooms! LOL If, by God's grace, we get to keep our home, the boys and Emma all want their rooms painted. I just smile. Makes packing your life into a box a little less painful I guess.... to dream.

Jes keeps dreaming about winning the lottery. I laugh and remind him we live in Utah where there is no lottery. He just smiles and says he still could win it. I laugh.

That is what we need. To laugh.

My body is beat. I have been running a low grade fever on and off since last friday night ( i know it's wed.) with no other symptoms. I just ache everywhere, chill and flush and am completely wiped out. Makes packing a house even LESS appealing lemme tell ya! Bwahahahaha

We have somewhere to go now... It's just not available until the end of July/first of August. Until then? We aren't sure yet. I sense God's hands in it ~ so I am striving really hard to just express my gratitude for what I understand so far of his plan in all this and hope for the best outcome like we are taught. This is but a small moment. Jes will have a job that makes enough to make our payments AND live again soon. I know it. We will have somewhere to live that will make us happy - because we are happy before we get there! :D And maybe someday we will have the house that we stay in for the rest of our lives. But if not... that is ok too. :D Hopefully our mansion in heaven is a thousand times better *GRIN*

6 Months

Today was the 6 months mark since my body had a stroke. I have dreaded this day and looked forward to this day. My doctors told me from the beginning that the first 6 months after a stroke is when you get the recovery and healing, after that, there is usually no improvement after that. And so 6 months was the date I dreaded when I had symptoms showing up I could not control. But I also looked to the 6 month mark with some joy: I felt like I could officially consider myself "recovered" I guess?

Anyway... today was a good day... despite my dreads.

We had a yard sale to get rid of things that weigh us down in preparation to move. And I spent the entire week, pushing hard EVERY DAY, packing, cleaning, daily living, sorting, labeling etc. I have been blessed to have 2 sweet sisters in my ward come multiple times each to help me, and Jes' mom has come and done a TON! My sis, Jenny, also came and helped me tackle one of my greatest chores - my year end filing for the last 2-3 years. It has been SUCH a long week... and yet today as I think about where I am and where I came from just a few weeks before Christmas and I am in AWE. Top this week off with a yard sale (7am-5 pm) and I can say that I am very pleased!! *grin*

I know that my recovery had a LOT to do with hard work on my part; daily exercises until I was mentally exhausted, physical therapy until I wanted to die, and tears, heartache, triumphs and successes. But I honestly know that my recovery mostly came from the Priesthood Blessing Jes and Bro. Mead gave to me that quiet December morning, when I knew in my heart that I had had a stroke, but had to go to the hospital to confirm it. I was promised that my "recovery will be swift". I *know* with all my heart that my recovery is a gift from God. My body's leaps and bounds rebound has astonished my therapist as well as my doctors! For all that I lost, I really should not be as healed as I am... at least according to medical points of view. And that brings me much joy!

This experience also makes me realize something kind of big. I *know* how much hard work I put into this particular challenge. But I also *know* that it wasn't me alone. Isn't that how ALL our trials/life experiences are? We have to put our very best effort into what we want in order to receive the miracles and blessings God has in store for us? He makes up the difference! My doctors responses have proved that! Over and over.

I could have believed the council that I would not recover here or there, but I didn't. I believed God's promise of a speedy recovery instead. And I worked and worked for it. But it is God's miracle!

So... for the record... there are still things that manifest that I had a stroke, but most people would never notice. (which btw makes me smile... a lot! I love hearing people say "you can't even tell that you've had a stroke". It warms my heart and reminds me of God's love and promises every time! Love it!) I thought I should list them for my own review in another 6 months *wink*

• Often in the evenings, if I am tired or not concentrating, my ability to swallow is diminished and I choke on my food and end up in coughing fits. And sometimes I puke. (Sorry my sweet FLYSistahs! ugh!) but thankfully... most times others just think my food "went down the wrong tube", like so many other people experience - so it's an easy one to think nothing of.
• At the end of the day my handwriting ability is greatly diminished. Cursive is only something I do well in the mornings, but often I can still sign my name in the afternoons. Straight lines are a piece of cake, doing any curvy lines of a letter are hard!
• In the evenings (I guess like the Doc's said - most of my symptoms are when I am fatigued and in the evenings etc) my right arm quits swinging when I walk. I know that sounds funny... but it is true. It just wants to hang instead. So I just put it in my pocket or hold my mid section and no one is the wiser! LOL
• I still limp and have weakness in my right leg when tired. Going down hills is especially hard when I am tired, but I can do stairs without much of a limp.
• When tired, I often slur a little, stumble on my words, and my memory of what I was talking about if I get interrupted struggles. I laugh when people tell me they understand because they are forgetful too... maybe it seems similar to them, but I remember that kind of forgetfulness! This forgetfulness *hurts* my mind to try and recall. It is really weird!
• I do get tired easier...but mostly it becomes tired of moving/thinking with my right side. I just want to sit or lay to rest it and stop thinking about it. It's a mental fatigue more than a physical fatigue.
• I get weakness in my leg if I try to climb into a high vehicle. I have to lift my leg to get into it - I cannot lift it very high.
• And I still have numbness and tingling once in a while when my right side is tired.

Most of these are easy to hide. They bug me, but I am grateful for them! I have come SOOO far!! I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned from this experience for anything in the world. I never want to do it again... bwahahaha... but I wouldn't trade it!

6 Months is not as bad as I worried it might be! I can live with it! And I am GRATEFUL for it!! *grin*
Thank you for all the love and support as I have walked this path... your thoughts and prayers have been felt more than you know...

Calebisms

Caleb just came to me and asked if he could be part of the "chick"!!
I said, "What chick?"
He replied "The chic! Like Dad was just telling his friend on the phone...you know, the kind where you get to fall asleep?!"

Jes had been telling his friend that I wanted to watch a "chick flick" with him (distraction!) and that he was going to enjoy the nap while we watched!

Bwahahahahaha!!

Then a few nights ago Jes and Cameron were hanging out on our bed with Caleb and his stuffed dinosaur Rexie. Cam was trying to steal Rexie away.
Dad said "Cameron quit! Rexie says you are hurting him!"
Cam replied "how do you know what Rexie said??"
Jestin said, "Because only Caleb and I can hear him!"
The boys all laughed and then they all got distracted...

I was watching Caleb... and he snuggled Rexie in close to his heart and whispered:
"Just pretend ok Rexie?"

Bwahahahahaha

This kid is just awesome!! *GRIN*

Daddy's Belt

Caleb L.O.V.E.S. Jes' belt and buckle from his childhood. He wears it all over.

The other day he found some shorts that had no belt loops...

so he improvised:

Instead of holding his pants up...

It's holding his shirt down!

Bwahahahaha

Taking it one day at a time...

Wrapping one's mind around the game that mortgage lenders play is super tough to do.

We have decided to start looking for another place to live, pack our home, and be ready just in case Wells Fargo actually is continuing to lie to us this time, and the miracle we pray for is not meant to be. We will rejoice greatly if we get to stay - but are going to follow the Boy Scout motto and "Be Prepared" - just in case. LOL

To document where we are at - I called W.F. again yesterday. They FINALLY have assigned our case to a processor - something they promised would take only 24 hours back on the 13th (yes... 2 weeks ago). We have called and harassed them over and over about it... but we got the same answer: There is nothing we can do until you have a processor assigned. HUH. Funny how they want our info and docs YESTERDAY, but can drag out something as simple as handing someone a file for 2 weeks!! That leaves us 2 weeks and 3 days until the Sheriff's sale date and the loss of our home. Nice.

So I asked if I could speak with our new processor. Nope. There is no number listed for this new person who holds our family's home in their hands - could you call back in 24 hours - that will give her time to review your file. Maybe they will have a contact # for her for you then. Really?? Are they going to give this new person a whole new phone line just because OUR file is now in their hands? *sigh* Right. Stall. Delay. Lies.

They want our house.

And really... why wouldn't they? Our second mortgage has charged off their portion. There is no value in the house for them because of the housing market. So W.F. (our 1st mortgage) now has a home that we owe about what it is worth. PLUS - they get their government kickback for "having to foreclose", they get a tax write off, they get the $20-30k in interest we have paid since we lived here, AND they get to sell our house. Duh. They have NO desire to help us keep our family's home. And they have set us up.

We have been trying to modify for over 2 years now, since the economy slowed and we were trying to keep afloat with our business JWD Electric. March of last year, they said we were approved, but needed to make "trial payments" for 3 months to prove we could handle the amount. We were completely faithful in paying those trial payments - for EIGHT months!! We would call and call and get no response. Then they would want our paperwork all over again because the dates were passed 30-60 days old. So we would send them again. Next they called Jes and asked for some obscure paper from our 2nd mortgage company. He explained it to me the following day... but I had no idea what they were talking about. I called. And called. And called. No return phone calls to clarify. So... near the last day I could send the paper they wanted, in desperation, I sent a copy of our 2nd Mortgage statement. We received a letter stating we did not return the correct paperwork in time and that we were now declined. I called up, rip roaring mad, and was told that really... we had not qualified because we were not behind on our payments. HELLO?? I asked for clarification, which they gave, saying, we were now declined for the last type of modification, but if we missed a payment we would qualify for another type. We could in no way catch up the $6k we were now behind (due to the trial payments that were less than our regular mortgage payment) - so we missed a payment to qualify for their next program.

The following month we received notice that in 7 weeks time (Jan '11) our home was going to be sold at auction. We were in foreclosure. Wells Fargo had taken our ONE missed payment, added it to the 8 months of trial payments, and counted us as 9 months behind! Wha...??? We fought and argued with them. They no longer would accept payments because we were in foreclosure.

I had a stroke the first part of December.

Our sale date was looming. W.F. kept telling us to not worry - they were still working out a modification for us. But we were leery. We checked into our options, between physical therapy sessions, and realized that if our home was sold at auction, we would have 3 days to get out, in the middle of January, a family of six, with my recovering from a stroke. We were SICK. We trusted. We waited. We prayed really hard.

2 days before the sale date, when they told us they had NO answers yet, but they "might" be able to stop the sale - we filed for bankruptcy. It froze the sale of our home. But it also cost us Jestin's business, his work truck, many of his tools, our family's camping trailer and our credit. Wells Fargo had given us no choice. We found out later that they STILL would not have had our modification done and we truly would have had to move in the middle of winter.

So we worked hard with them - gave them every paper they needed. Then Jes got a job.

We were informed they needed 3 pay stubs to be able to process a modification. (ugh) So... on May 3rd, when I had 3 stubs in my hot little hands, I faxed them to them. And I called and called and left messages. No responses. I wanted to be sure they had received them and that we were good to go. No answers.

On May 13th... Friday the 13th at about 2 pm... I received a knock at my door. It was our sweet mail lady. She had certified letters for me. Our home is slated to be sold on the June 14th. Officially 31 days away. To qualify for ANY options to stop the sale (other than being at the whim of them "possibly" processing our modification) we needed 30 days. Honestly - they gave us 30 days and 10 hours (3 hours if you go by business hours). And it was a Friday afternoon. They had tricked us. Again.

I called and yelled. (Imagine that though... now we have been served and painted into a corner I can get an answer on the phone??) I was told they "never got the pay stubs". When I called BS and told them I had a fax confirmation right  in my hand - suddenly he looked and sure enough! There they were! But now we would have to wait for our case to be re-opened and assigned to a processor. And as I mentioned previously... you can see how well that has gone over!!

SO. Where does that leave our little family? It leaves us looking out for OUR best interest and being prepared.

This week has been H.A.R.D. I can't even describe it.
I would rather have another heart surgery or a stroke... then take my family down this path.
But... here we are.
We will get through.
One tiny baby step at a time! :)

The whole house has been cleaned up and organized to take photos of each room. This little home of ours is full of great memories and I wanted to preserve them. The only rooms left to document are the upstairs hallway and the laundry room. Then I will post them on here.

I have packed 2 boxes. (I know... tons huh?) Now that I am done getting my photos taken of the house... I can start being serious about it. And maybe find the emotional ability to look for a rental as well. Wish us luck!!

And... if we happen to get to keep our house... I will get to "move into it" all over again! ;)

Inactive Realtor detests rental home shopping...

WOW. What a day. First and foremost... let me say with a HUGE "thankyou, I love you, you are da bomb" to Suzie!! She was so kind and took me to look at rentals today. (Can I just say how much I miss my car? ugh.) You rock Suz for spending your day driving me around! We are on the hunt!

But. Nothing good. There was one that is so-so, but tiny here in town. It was clean and they handled the story of our situation ok and seemed accepting. But there is NO storage. And it is squishy. And well.. I know I am spoiled because of my home now... but waaaaaa only one person could stand in the kitchen at one time! And there is NO where to put food storage!

The next home was one town over. It was a little bigger - unfinished basement we would have to immediately add a room onto - and a huge deck in the back with a great view. As we stood there talking, the train pulled by. The whole house shook and you couldn't talk over the whistle. It only lasted for about 2 min. The homeowner said it really doesn't bother them - ok - well maybe the one at 6 am does, but other than that it is just fine. : /

The rest of them were not great. One had so much cat dander/mold scent masked by paint and cleaning the carpet I wanted to barf. My throat burned, my nose itched. UGH.

I came home discouraged.

I want MY house.
I don't want to try and keep looking anymore.
I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE showing homes to clients.
Looking for myself? Not so much.
Add the ease of fatigue from my stroke and poor Suzie! By the time she got me back home I sounded like Eyore, felt like I wanted to bawl and sleep, and couldn't wait to stop talking and thinking about it.

I hope it gets better. I hope we can find the answer for our little family soon.
My heart and soul is tired today.
*sigh*
Tomorrow is another day....
right???

Update on us

So... we have not gotten our wireless Internet fixed so I can use the laptop and post pictures yet. And I am not sure how soon that will happen! But life is marching on at an incredible beat of the drum... so I thought I better post something to keep record of it all!


Biggest piece of news - is not so fun. We are loosing our home. Yep. Just like hundreds of others. Ours will be auctioned off on June 14th. The title company (not even the bank mind you!) sent us notice on the 13th of May. 31 days before the sale. In order to get any kind of help organized we need 30 days or we don't qualify. The 13th was FRIDAY the 13th, and we got our letters about 1:30-2pm... on a Friday. Nice. Convenient dontcha think?


We have done EVERYTHING they have ever asked us to do. EVER. We have met all their requests and jumped all their hoops - 5 times now we have started this modification process over again!! This last time, I sent in our documents 2 WEEKS before, calling and leaving messages the entire time! They didn't answer/return my calls until after the notice was served that our home was up for Sheriff's sale - when we can no longer do anything about it. I spent over an hour on the phone again today yelling/arguing/crying with Wells Fargo, to no avail. They told us they would have someone assigned to our case by last Monday. It's FRIDAY! They STILL have not!! And "there is nothing we can do Mam". We also can no longer short sale our home unless we get a buyer's offer by June 5th (2 weeks away??) and we cannot continue to work on a loan modification if we choose to try a short sale! And! by working towards still trying to modify we may, or may not, qualify for an extension of our sale date - which if we wait until that date we would have 24 hours to move our family of six if it sells.


All the uncertainty is maddening. And discouraging. And disheartening. I don't think, aside from being able to pay a lawyer big bucks to "maybe" help, we could have done anything else. The banks win. Our government has made it so they win. With our Fannie Mae loan, it is "insured" so they will get their $$ out of it, then they get the kick back from the government for having to foreclose, plus the tax write off, and then they get to sell my house!! And they get to walk away with the $25-30k we have paid them in interest since we lived here! DUH! OF COURSE THEY WANT MY  HOUSE!! Hello? It isn't rocket science!


Anywho... we are still "TRYING" for this modification crap - but I am packing too. Better to unpack later than have another stroke trying to move our little family out in 24 hours right??


The strange current of emotions one feels as your home you have worked so hard for is ripped from your life is very tough. I would almost rather have another stroke or heart surgery. It hurts. It is sorrowful. It is deflating. The feelings of failure, the feelings of being lost, the feeling of the unknown is just YUCK! But along with those emotions God has given us others as well...


Jes and I keep snuggling, and smiling, and loving on each other and our kids. WE are what matters. Not this place of bricks and beams. WE MATTER. We matter to each other. We matter to our families. We matter to our friends. We matter to God. So what if we don't matter to the bank? Have your stinkin' house Mr. Bank... we are "home" no matter where we go. *wink* So if anyone knows of a good rental - with no cat/mold history let us know... we are going to be needing something here right quick!! LOL


To add to the mix of crappy news we have had to wade through... Jes came home for lunch on Wednesday and asked  me to drive him back to work. A bearing in his front axle had seized. His truck was not drivable. Ah man! Really?? So I ran him back to work.


Honestly, I had needed to cry for DAYS - wandering around with a lump in my throat - so after I dropped him off, I pulled into the park parking lot and shed a few tears, and prayed, and told Father in Heaven that I didn't think I could take "one more thing!". Why I EVER do that to myself I will never know! (ha ha ha) I told him we need some guidance and answers, and we need it SOON. And that I was DONE.


I felt a little better - and though I was not super smiley the rest of that afternoon - I hacked it.


Later, I picked up Jes to have him drop me off at Cody's school so I could watch Cody's  play - so Jes could go get Caleb from school at the same time and take him to the house - so Jes could weld a part for his work with his welder - so he could come pick me back up at the school after the play- to have me take him back to his work - to go back to the school to pick the older kids up for the day - then back to Jes' work to pick him up once he installed the part... yeah... joyful. Fun!


So, that evening we started dinner, only to find we did not have any tomatoes. Not that it was THAT important... but it was hamburgers and we like tomatoes. Jestin offered to go to the store to get tomatoes.
Yea!
I didn't have to go out again. :)


He came home and was white as a sheet. He told me he would not tell me what was wrong until after dinner so I could enjoy my meal. Sweet of him - not!! I could NOT enjoy a meal knowing he was THAT upset!! hello?
So he tells me the dilemma...
He had come back out of the store to get in my car... and when he started it, it made this huge popping noise, rattling noise and ran terrible.         


My car has blown a spark plug into the head!!


He limped it home.
We were officially without a car.
We will be officially without a house.
Really??!?
*HUGE SIGH*
SEE???
THIS is what I get for murmuring!!
(LOL)


Jes took all day yesterday off... trying to get his ducks in a row for his plan of attack on the problem at hand (no cars) and decided to get to work on the truck. It was the cheaper and the "easier" to fix. It has been pouring rain and super cold for May - so it was NOT a fun day to be working on cars! He came in filthy, wet and COLD about 10:30 last night. BUT! He got the truck workable again. Yea!


My car is going to be a bear. He has to pull my whole engine to get to the spark plug's area. The car repair shop wouldn't do it because it was the furthest one in - and if they DID pull it the motor themselves they wanted $1400+++! Ouch. We are now trying to get the right tools gathered and Jes is studying it all out to tackle that project tomorrow and likely most of next week. Ugh.


We are SO blessed that Jes is smart/handy like this and can DO stuff like this! We are so blessed!! I won't deny it!


But... It has been A WEEK... let me tell you. But I will NOT say I can't handle "one more thing"... Bwahahaha... It is tough to get through when I say things like that! *wink* But *sigh* what a week!


So there is the basic update! We are swamped and drowning... but our little floating duck is still inflated... we are still hopeful to someday make it to the other side of this whirlpool. The key question isn't "if"... the key question is "when!"
*GRIN*

Buns - N - Theighs

OK... So I am totally mean (*chuckle*) but this still makes me just laugh out loud!

This is Caleb when he was little...

One day Jes quoted from that 90's show, where the two muscle builder's talk about "We are here to pump you up". He used their accent and said (kind of loud)

"Ya! Buns -n- Theighs!!"

Caleb's little body jumped and this darling pouty lip came out and he cried... 

Our kids thought it was SO funny! Caleb was a really good mannered little man... but if his Daddy did this quote - without out fail it would bring out the pouty lip and make him cry!

See aren't we mean?

But it was SOO stinkin' cute!!

*giggle*

Getting more and more behind...

Ok! I am just getting more and more behind! (tee hee) I have oodles of events and pics to post about, including Easter and beyond, but the laptop is the only computer I can download pics onto, and the internet is not working on that computer and well... it be jus' a mess! LOL

Things are going along ok. I think we have realized that the great relief of Jes finally having a job is not really coming. YES - we are thrilled to have health insurance. (of course of course!) but we aren't making ends meet with what he makes :( It's a little anti-climatic (if that makes any sense) after all we have walked through. Maybe we aren't done with this particular trial yet? Maybe there is more to come? Time will tell.

Today I have been particularly... troubled, I guess? A dear family in our ward, whom we have felt a special bond with, are loosing their home. We did a yard sale for them last weekend, and this week we are trying to get them packed for both a storage shed and living with family - their little family of 6. It is hauntingly real for me, and we are all really sad to see them have to move! Another instance of a big corrupt bank stringing a FAMILY along, with hopes up and down, and then dashing them on the rocks in favor of lining their pockets. The whole housing crisis is a SHAM. Pres. Obama's great "save the homeowners" hoopla has done nothing but given the big banks more money than they deserve. They have found so many loopholes it is not even funny! Families are suffering... while they get richer. Evil. Sad and Evil.

Anyway... enough of that... things really are pretty good! We are healthy. We are a family. We have the gospel. And that is what matters. The rest will work itself out.

I am just sad for this family.
Sad for our family.
It has been a tough week.

Jes is going to try and find someone to help us get our internet up on the laptop and then I will have posts like crazy... and lots happier sounding ones I am sure! *wink* Have a great evening all!

Fish Tank for Jes' Birthday

Jestin saw some fish at Walmart and he LOVED them!

We have not had our fish tank up and running for most of the year... I have been trying to sell it to make money. His excitement sparked the desire to nix that money making plan!

LOL

My sweet sister came down and we tackled the task of cleaning the tank all up. Jes was surprised!

Then for Family Home Evening we all went to pick out his fish.

 The kids wanted some cute fish too so we got these two little kissing fish. They named them Cosmo and Wanda.

And here is the fish that Jes wanted:

 Looks like an eel...

 Until it moves it's fins! Eeek!

 It's a "Dragon Fish"

LOL

It's a creepy little blind fish... but he sure keeps the kids interested!