6 Months

Today was the 6 months mark since my body had a stroke. I have dreaded this day and looked forward to this day. My doctors told me from the beginning that the first 6 months after a stroke is when you get the recovery and healing, after that, there is usually no improvement after that. And so 6 months was the date I dreaded when I had symptoms showing up I could not control. But I also looked to the 6 month mark with some joy: I felt like I could officially consider myself "recovered" I guess?

Anyway... today was a good day... despite my dreads.

We had a yard sale to get rid of things that weigh us down in preparation to move. And I spent the entire week, pushing hard EVERY DAY, packing, cleaning, daily living, sorting, labeling etc. I have been blessed to have 2 sweet sisters in my ward come multiple times each to help me, and Jes' mom has come and done a TON! My sis, Jenny, also came and helped me tackle one of my greatest chores - my year end filing for the last 2-3 years. It has been SUCH a long week... and yet today as I think about where I am and where I came from just a few weeks before Christmas and I am in AWE. Top this week off with a yard sale (7am-5 pm) and I can say that I am very pleased!! *grin*

I know that my recovery had a LOT to do with hard work on my part; daily exercises until I was mentally exhausted, physical therapy until I wanted to die, and tears, heartache, triumphs and successes. But I honestly know that my recovery mostly came from the Priesthood Blessing Jes and Bro. Mead gave to me that quiet December morning, when I knew in my heart that I had had a stroke, but had to go to the hospital to confirm it. I was promised that my "recovery will be swift". I *know* with all my heart that my recovery is a gift from God. My body's leaps and bounds rebound has astonished my therapist as well as my doctors! For all that I lost, I really should not be as healed as I am... at least according to medical points of view. And that brings me much joy!

This experience also makes me realize something kind of big. I *know* how much hard work I put into this particular challenge. But I also *know* that it wasn't me alone. Isn't that how ALL our trials/life experiences are? We have to put our very best effort into what we want in order to receive the miracles and blessings God has in store for us? He makes up the difference! My doctors responses have proved that! Over and over.

I could have believed the council that I would not recover here or there, but I didn't. I believed God's promise of a speedy recovery instead. And I worked and worked for it. But it is God's miracle!

So... for the record... there are still things that manifest that I had a stroke, but most people would never notice. (which btw makes me smile... a lot! I love hearing people say "you can't even tell that you've had a stroke". It warms my heart and reminds me of God's love and promises every time! Love it!) I thought I should list them for my own review in another 6 months *wink*

• Often in the evenings, if I am tired or not concentrating, my ability to swallow is diminished and I choke on my food and end up in coughing fits. And sometimes I puke. (Sorry my sweet FLYSistahs! ugh!) but thankfully... most times others just think my food "went down the wrong tube", like so many other people experience - so it's an easy one to think nothing of.
• At the end of the day my handwriting ability is greatly diminished. Cursive is only something I do well in the mornings, but often I can still sign my name in the afternoons. Straight lines are a piece of cake, doing any curvy lines of a letter are hard!
• In the evenings (I guess like the Doc's said - most of my symptoms are when I am fatigued and in the evenings etc) my right arm quits swinging when I walk. I know that sounds funny... but it is true. It just wants to hang instead. So I just put it in my pocket or hold my mid section and no one is the wiser! LOL
• I still limp and have weakness in my right leg when tired. Going down hills is especially hard when I am tired, but I can do stairs without much of a limp.
• When tired, I often slur a little, stumble on my words, and my memory of what I was talking about if I get interrupted struggles. I laugh when people tell me they understand because they are forgetful too... maybe it seems similar to them, but I remember that kind of forgetfulness! This forgetfulness *hurts* my mind to try and recall. It is really weird!
• I do get tired easier...but mostly it becomes tired of moving/thinking with my right side. I just want to sit or lay to rest it and stop thinking about it. It's a mental fatigue more than a physical fatigue.
• I get weakness in my leg if I try to climb into a high vehicle. I have to lift my leg to get into it - I cannot lift it very high.
• And I still have numbness and tingling once in a while when my right side is tired.

Most of these are easy to hide. They bug me, but I am grateful for them! I have come SOOO far!! I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned from this experience for anything in the world. I never want to do it again... bwahahaha... but I wouldn't trade it!

6 Months is not as bad as I worried it might be! I can live with it! And I am GRATEFUL for it!! *grin*
Thank you for all the love and support as I have walked this path... your thoughts and prayers have been felt more than you know...