The Influenza Flu

Cam started coughing last week. We kept him home from school Tues-Friday because he just couldn't seem to get enough air. We thought it was more asthma related. I took him to the Dr. on Thursday, and he did not have a fever, and his O2s were ok (thank heavens!), so we continued our regular regime when he is in a flare and went on with life.

We had the Daddy Daughter dinner here on Saturday. *gulp* I was extremely fatigued that night, but that often happens to me... so I just figured it was recourse from a very busy week + school.
We all went to church Sunday morning.
We had been up REALLY late from the party and so the aches and pains that I felt, and Jes felt, and the whiney kids, we just brushed aside.
The longer we sat in church, the worse I felt.
And I started to cough.
So did Caleb.
We decided to go back home after Sacrament Meeting, and only let Emma and Cody stay
(they both felt fine, and had no symptoms)
All our friends tried to shake our hands or hug us, but we shyed away and tried to get out of there as quick as possible!

Within hours Caleb and I were running fevers. Cam as well. Jes had the aches, was weak and pale. He would not allow me to take his temp.
And here we are... almost 4 full days later... Sick... SiCk... SICK!!

Symptoms       COLD                     FLU
Fever              Rare               * Usually
Aches            Slight              * Mod-Severe
Chills            Uncommon     * Fairly Common
Fatigue          Mild                * Mod-Severe
Coughing    Productive        * Dry, Unproductive
Sneezing       Common         * Uncommon
Stuffy Nose   Common        * Uncommon
Sore Throat     Common      * Uncommon
Chest Pain     Mild-Mod      * Often severe
Headache      Uncommon    * Common

This is a chart issued to us a couple of years back by the CDC. The ones that have stars are all the symptoms we are dealing with.

Cam just barely tried school today. He made it ok... but is pale and weak now. He still coughs, but I am sure he will for weeks. He has not had a fever since Monday.

Emma started with a "tickle in her throat" she said this morning, and refused to stay home from school. This evening she is chilling, headache, coughing etc. The fever just hasn't started yet.

I can't get my fever below 99.8, though it prefers 101-102.6 . Everything hurts. My heart protests and does funny rhythms randomly. We also have had nausea on and off and both boys threw up a couple of times... but I think it was coughing related?

The worst complaints are the aches, the chest pain, the burning cough, and the fatigue.

All in all... It has NOT been a super fun week at our house.
I have missed 3 days of class.
Caleb has missed 4 days so far.
Cam was sick for 8 days.
Jes seems to be fighting it on and off - thankfully he usually doesn't not catch stuff like this
((knock on wood!!!))
Emma will not be going tomorrow.

Cody needs a foster home!
Bwahahahaha

I went out to check on Caleb watching a movie this afternoon and this is what I found:

Caleb was on the couch, but Rexie, his beloved stuffed dinosaur, was tucked comfy in his pillow and blanket.

You see...

Rexie has the flu too.

Here's to appreciating the healthy days a little bit more...

and praying with all our hearts we did not spread this like wildfire before we realized what it really was!

Cause YIKES! It's a doozy!

(And PLEEEASE let us get warm and stop coughing til our eyes are reds and bloodshot and our chests burn! :P )

FACEBOOK POST

Just got back from my sweetheart's eye surgeon... his eye sight has been saved! He needs a mild prescription, and he is good to go! 6 months ago we were coming to terms with him going blind at 34! HOLY COW!! We have been given a miracle! A miracle!! Joy overfloweth...God works in mysterious ways!

It is almost 1 am...

and I can't sleep.

I was being mindless for a little while, playing Farmville on Facebook, hoping that would make me sleepy. But instead, after all my "harvesting", oragnizing and "gift giving"... I am still wide awake! Ack!

Jestin is sound asleep, snoring, here next to me on the bed. He has been feeling "off" today. He slept a good portion of yesterday after his surgery, though I did drag him to Emmalee's New Beginnings program for her youth group at church that night. (which BTW Emma sang this beautiful song with 2 other girls as part of it... I am so proud of her! She has an amazing voice! *grin*). Today he has been generally grumpy, and his head, cheek and ear have hurt. I have encouraged ibuprofen, as often as he can take it, and will likely make him call the Eye Dr. if it isn't better tomorrow.

Tonight he pushed forward though, and took me to Ward Temple Night. We were so thankful to be able to attend the Temple. It is such a gift! Our friends, the Vincents, came and got us and we rode together. I am so thankful for good friends too. It's nice to laugh... even when you don't feel like it. Jes' mood was greatly enhanced just by being with friends.

Emmalee is really having a rough go of things lately. She missed almost an entire week of school with her strep throat, and now is paying the price. Her homework pile has kept her busy from the minute she gets home! She has shed a few (ok lots) of tears over it. She hates being behind, and even more she hates deadlines. They freak/stress her out! Add to this some friends going though some tough times, and her personality like her Daddy and Gram of taking on others emotions and pain, and she is a mess. Her ability to have empathy is phenominal, just like theirs, but she is not practiced at deflecting it yet. She and Jes had a long talk about that tonight, and I think she was pleased to know she has traits like the people that she loves, and that she is understood. We keep teasing her she needs to figure out how to *breathe*... that her life is not as stressful as she makes it out to be! (even though I think it probably is... somehow she's gotta find the joy in the journey! oh... wait... I have needed that advice myself lately! bwahahaha... pot calling the kettle  black and all that! :) ugh. )

Cody is Cody. He is quiet and reserved. He has a "girlfriend" at school, they have just been friends for a while, but now they are talking about more "liking" each other type stuff. Wigs me out a little! He blushes a deep shade of red if you even mention her name, or even mention anything remotely close to girl related. Don't talk to him at all about recess, because that is when they walk around the playground and talk, and he can barely stand the embarrassment of it! It's cute... and spooky. My little man is starting the crush phase! ACK! He already could use a shave (HE'S 11!!!) and his voice is deeper than Jes'. He is changing fast... almost by the minute it seems. He is such a good kid though! I appreciate him so much!

Cameron is moving forward with his busy little life. He loves to hang out with his friends, play on his DS (or any other electronic device) and invent things and do magic tricks. He has taken a real enjoyment out of comic books lately, Garfield being a fav. He is excelling at school and LOVES his teacher! (which I do too! I couldn't have asked for a better fit for Cam this year! His teacher is one of the best we have ever had!) He is looking forward to Valentine's Day... but not nearly so much as his little brother!

Caleb is really struggling lately. He has been acting out at school (his teacher told me she didn't find out about the stroke until 3 weeks after, but she could have guessed the date almost if she could use his behavior in class as a guide). He is acting like the class clown, he won't focus, he quit trying to learn to read, and generally has taken multiple steps back. It has been heartbreaking for me... as I feel completely at fault since I am the trigger, but we are working with him to try and get him to talk about how he is feeling and his worries. This last week, he has all of a sudden taken a great interest into something though... hearts! If you could drive by my house, you would see hearts. He is WAY excited about Valentine's Day... and he learned how to make paper hearts by folding a piece of paper in half. My bedroom windows are so covered you can barely see out! We have hearts on all the walls downstairs and almost every single piece of pink paper we own has been folded and cut. (I will try to take pictures to add tomorrow) It is sweet! He took one to his little friend Audrey's house. We teased that he better be careful! Her daddy is military and he might not like a little boy giving his baby girl hearts! Tee hee! He seems to be a little less teary and withdrawn this week. I am trying to capitilize on his interest in V-day... we have been doing things together and "planning" and tomorrow we are going to go see if we can check out some books about it - and encourage some sight words! We also have sugar cookies in the planner... and he cannot wait!

This whole life of ours has been tough to take lately...I know... surprising huh? But I think that is what is keeping me awake tonight. There has been so much for me to work on, to help ME recover, that now, as I can step back and slow down a little and focus outward, I see that there is still MUCH to heal.

We have tried to keep our children close, answer their questions and be open and honest with them (when appropriate of course). They begged to stay at the hospital with me, as they were scared and uncertain. It was a huge balm to cuddle together and be a family over those 2 days. I know that is what they needed. But as I came home and "life" had to keep going... it quickly became obvious that their mom really wasn't ok. And they have had to deal with that. And it isn't always easy.

And now, as I am stronger and more involved everyday, it is an adjustment all over again. They are giving back some of what they took on while I was down, and that is tough at times as well. They don't want me to over do. They worry something will happen to me while they are at school. There have been many fears discussed and faced. Living in the moment lessons are being learned at a young age, that we can't live worrying about what tomorrow can bring because then we ruin our only TODAY. This whole experience has grown us and stretched us as a family beyond anything we ever could have imagined.

Add to it the financial/housing crisis... and well? Talk about pulling together! Emma wants to babysit to make some money for the family. Caleb keeps bringing me his belongings, saying he doesn't need them anymore, couldn't we sell them to help us to not have to move? He also keeps saying we should just sell some rocks! (bwahahahaha) Cody is careful to wear his clothes twice before putting them in the wash, and PJ's he wears more than that (*shudder*). He is a frugal little thing! Cam prays every night for Jes to get the right job... he never forgets!

We have a climb ahead of us. It's a "rocky ridge" of sorts (a Pioneer story) and our "handcart" is heavy laden. But we are SO blessed! We know we have angels pushing from behind. We know as long as we keep holding out faithful that God will not allow us to walk it alone. We will recover from the trials we are given.

And then we will be given new ones.
It's a process this thing called life.
And it's a gift.

Recovery here we come! Ready or NOT! ;)

Jestin's Final Surgery

Tomorrow Jes goes in for his final eye surgery. We are SO looking forward to it being done, he especially! It has been a long time coming, but today I am reminded of the miracle that it is. Just 6 months ago we were contemplating how we were going to meet the needs of our family as he started noticing the black spots, and his other eye was basically blind. WHAT A MIRACLE!! Here he is, getting one last touch up on his cataract and will then have 20/20 vision in his blind eye ~ and the bleeding in his other eye from the retinopathy is stopped and will likely have no more problems for 8-10 years!! :O God really IS a God of Miracles! We saw NO way to meet his eye care needs, with no income/employment and we were in complete despair.

Our gratitude is so deep and profound today as we have talked about this last year we have endured. Our lives have been walking miracles and answers to prayers. Despite the horrific moments of fear, despair and anguish, we can honestly say looking back, that the Lord has never left us alone. Never. Even when we felt alone, in our most darkest moments, in hind sight we can see His presence and expressions of love.

I have been studying the D&C - sections 6-8. They fill my heart with peace and love. Our Father in Heaven really does know us each individually and knows what we need. And we are not alone.

Today I feel stronger emotionally. I feel like all the burden laid upon our shoulders is bearable and that I can emotionally give it to the Savior now, and mean it/do it. All in all I have had 2 bad days this last week to 5 good days - emotionally/mentally. That is very encouraging to me.

I still struggle with extra un-necesary contention and expectations. I just can't seem to do it, or have the heart to deal with it. Our life is so all consuming mentally and emotioanlly for me right now, added to my physical healing still, that reaching out beyond day to day seems excruciating quite often. And so... I follow Pres. Uchtdorf's counsel and my new quote from Mother Theressa "God doesn't require that I succeed, only that I do what I can do". This is my peace. This is balm to my soul.

There ARE miracles at work here. I have received revalation in my own heart as to the way I should respond and react to what is going on around me, and I am thankful that there are days I can only do a minute at a time, instead of an hour or even a day at a time, because EVERY minute can be precious, and can make a difference.

And so... tomorrow... we are taking our morning one minute at a time. We are surrounded by people who want to help and love us. We are not alone. And these trials are creating miracles from God... why should I think I am a better artist for my life than He?

Jestin's Eye Surgery

Jes had his final eye surgery on Monday. It was all up in the air until just a couple of hours before, but it was a blessing I think because he wasn't stressing about it. Mostly because he thought it would be another week away! LOL Tender mercies.

It was a success, they think, as far as repairing the Retinopathy. The surgeon told us found a small cataract in that eye before the procedure, so we are thinking he may have to have another cataract surgery. But we will cross that bridge when we get there... in the mean time we are praying for no swelling.

Swelling may cause retinal detach, causing permanent vision loss. He had such extensive of a treatment this time, it is a big concern. They went ahead and gave him the same steriod shot that caused the cataract in his right eye, because the risks outweighed the possibilities. We are kind of walking on egg shells emotionally, and every change his eye goes through as he heals, we monitor closely.

But... he did have a priesthood blessing. And if that is God's will we are just so thankful for the saving of the vision in his right eye. We are thankful!

They may also have to do a small laser treatment on his right eye that he had the cataract surgery on as the membrane behind the lens has gone cloudy (which was a risk) and they say it is a quick 5-10 minutes procedure and he will be back to 20/20 again. :)

Jes has been so blessed. He is in a lot of pain, but he is thankful and so am I. I feel as though I have been given a tiny glimpse into how the families of those who had loved ones blindness healed by the Savior felt. I KNOW this is a gift from Him. And how humbling and tender that is to me...

Postponed

Jestin was scheduled for his last eye surgery tomorrow. He has been so very nervous and anxious about it. The Retinal Specialist's office called him this morning to confirm his "8-week follow-up appointment". Uh. Huh? He replied...don't you mean my surgery? Nope. They had it scheduled as a follow-up appointment. He doesn't have a surgery on the books for Jes!

Hello??? Mc-Fly.....

We have had this planned for over 2 months. We have had them in contact with Voc. Rehab for at least that long KNOWING that was the plan for this appointment.

Anyway... it has been postponed. It has to be re-approved with the right date and info, so he likely will not go in for surgery until a week from now at the soonest.

Jes is really bummed out. He was mentally prepared to get it over with... now he has to contemplate it for another whole week! :(

Gotta love his dumb blonde office help. Yeah... she is cute. Yeah... she is super friendly to your patients... and she even flirts with the old grandpa's in the room... but Doc... if she can't do her job.. then all of that is null and void.

Just sayin'....

IT WAS A SUCCESS!!!

We are SOOO happy!! Jestin's cataract eye surgery was a complete success! He came out of the operating room with tears down his cheeks... HE CAN SEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We went to the follow up appointment and his surgeon was amazed! Jestin's vision is now 20/20!!!!!! He really didn't think we would get it that good... and definately NOT on the day after surgery!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!! We are so thrilled!! What a miracle in our lives. It means more than we can ever express....

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers on our behalf. We felt them and appreciate them sooooo much!!

Jes' eye is tender and scratchy today... but it's awesome to see him walking around without his lens on that side of this glasses! LOL They also said that now that they can see behind the eye (you know...since they aren't peering through the snowy cataract) that the laser repair for his Retinopathy looks FAB-O! They think that he will have a long term outcome that could save his eyesight for quite some time to come. :)

We are now ready to get going on the other eye.... 4 weeks is a long time to wait to have it all completed and behind him. We are SO looking forward to the resolve. What a miracle in our lives!!!!!!!!!! WE FEEL SO HUMBLED AND THANKFUL....

Loan Modification / Eye Surgery

Hi All. What a pain in the pa-too-ee!! LOL We have been trying for over a year to get our lenders to work with us for a mortgage loan modification. They keep changing the rules, their requirements and not returning phone calls until deadlines are past and we are booted out of their programs. This last month they sent us to preliminary foreclosure with a sale date of December 22nd. (Haha... Merry Christmas!) It has been a nightmare!!!!! Ugh! We are in the process once again. We want to keep our home, so I keep pushing and pushing. It's SOOO much fun!

If any of you are trying this process... this is my advice. Call them. Call them. Call them. Leave messages. Daily if you have to. Talk to customer service. Hound them. Hound them. I don't know if it will get them to move forward any better or not, but it did get our preliminary foreclosure date removed. So I guess it is worth something. LOL

They say this time they are serious about helping us.

We'll see.

In the meantime, Jestin and I feel a great peace about it. We know that we are being lead by a higher power. We know that we will be taken care of by His grace, after all we can do. And we have done all we can really do. :) There is great peace in that.

I have this theory... I don't know how true it will be... but I have this feeling that: Jes needs his eye surgeries done, then the right job will come, and then because we will have steady income again all of this loan stuff will fall into place. And I am taking comfort in that faith.

Jestin is going to have eye surgery on Wed. They need to make a repair in the eye that we had them laser repair for his Diabetic Retinopathy 2 years ago. See...

A few months ago, when Jes was working out of town, he finally confided in me that his vision in that eye was getting much worse... and that the other eye had begun to get black floaters - meaning his Retinopathy was destroying that other eye. He hadn't wanted to worry me... but while he was out of town we found out he needed his drivers license re-newed and all of a sudden he was afraid they may take his license and finally talked to me about it. It was not fun to talk or think about. We both kind of shut down and spent a great deal of time processing and trying to cope.

(He had not gone back after the 1st eye (right eye) was worked on because it had always been cloudy since the surgery was done and they would not believe him that his vision was compromised, so he was NOT going to go back and give them the only eye he could really see out of! And I didn't blame him! At that time the opposite eye had very little effects from his diabetes so he felt safe. However since it became the only eye he really used, it now progressed quite rapidly.)

It was heartbreaking to think my sweetheart was going blind, and there was nothing we could financially do about it. We cried together. We prayed together. We knew he would likely loose his ability to work at some soon future point, and I was rapidly trying to figure out how to become the breadwinner of our family in his stead with my heart condition. Everything seemed bleak, and if you go back and read my posts (like I did recently) you realize how despairing I felt, how we both felt.

That is when, by the grace of God, we were qualified for the adult program for health insurance here in our state. We did not have enough income to qualify ourselves out of it believe it or not! It does not cover hardly anything, but it covers some of our huge prescription costs (which is phenomenal) and it did cover a visit to the eye Dr. for a basic exam so we could get our bearings as to how bad it  really is.

We met with our eye Dr, Dr. Jones , and he was did the complete eye exam. (GO SEE HIM! He is THE best!) He said Jestin's right eye (the good eye) was being quickly over run by the Retinopathy and that if we didn't act fast his retina could detach and he would loose all vision in that eye. We knew that was likely going to be the response, and we gulped a deep breath as he moved to the next eye.

In Jes' right eye, Dr. Jones was dumbfounded! He could not believe what he was seeing. Jestin has a cataract! He is WAY too young for such a thing, but there it was! This HUGE cataract. Dr. Jones explained that it could have been from the laser repair 2 years ago, and has just steadily gotten worse...which is why it had! He told us to go to the Retinal Surgeon ASAP and consult with him.

(At this point I burst into tears! A cataract is repairable!!!!!! We could barely dare to hope!)

Now here I have to admit... we did not do as we were asked. At that time, we had the yardsale to make the house payment to qualify for the loan modification that we didn't get approved for. We had no way to pay to go see this guy. So we didn't go.

And here is where Dr. Jones true colors showed through. He called. And he called again. He wanted to know if we had made the appt. He wanted to know what he could do to help. He called the Retinal Surgeon and together they put their knowledge together and sent us in for this program for the visually impaired, Vocational Rehabilitation. Dr. Jones chased and pushed as lovingly as he could.

We talked to a specialist at Voc. Rehab. and they without question said that Jestin qualified for their obscure program. He was loosing his sight and needed a job, and they could help with both. He is basically blind in the one eye (he can see some shapes and outlines of people). They said his vision was 20/400 in that eye. LOL. And they can offer services to help cover costs for the surgeries, and get us discounts on other costs, as well as some classes on resumes, help with Jes' continuing education and what not! We could not believe it!

They sent us through the process and were wonderful a quick in getting his surgery approved. He has cataract surgery on Wed. And they believe that it will give him almost ALL of his vision in that right eye! (Oooo! Just typing this I burst into tears!) They are going to help save his vision! And then 4 weeks later, they will do the laser repair of the Retinopathy in the left eye, and baring any complications, he will have that eye saved as well!! Possibly LONG TERM!!! I get chills just thinking about it.

And so... in hind sight I can see 110% that the Lord has had a plan the whole time. Jestin couldn't get a job with benefits, because he would have to wait a year for the pre-existing condition clause to lapse, and in the mean time may have lost his eye sight. We had to struggle so terribly financially to qualify for the adult insurance, to the get us the appointment, to get us to the right doctor, to get us to the right surgeon, who knows about the Voc. Rehab. that we never would have even thought existed, to then still not have employment and to be able qualify for it, to get it done and repaired in the time frame it HAD to be done.

We are not being left alone to wallow. I am ashamed that I even allowed myself to doubt or worry. I still DEEPLY want this trial to be over, but there is so much good that has come of it.

So how can I doubt that somehow this loan stuff won't work out as well? And if we do loose our house? I have full faith that we are just being led to the next place we are needed in God's plan for us. As long as we do all that we can do... He makes up the rest!

And that brings us such a great peace...

Family Update

We are all doing well! We are healthy, have enough to eat, and love each other deeply and fully. What more could we ask for? But still... for those of you who know and love us...here is an update on our daily grind.

JESTIN- still trying to work hard at making JWD Electric a success. He works an adverage of only 2-3 days a week... which may or may not pay the bills. We are putting our faith in Heavenly Father that what our family needs, vocationally, will come to pass. And we are doing all we can to help it along as well. It's all we can do.
His eye is still a mess. It is blurry and he is completely blind to the left side of himself. He almost ran over a neighbor the other evening (Sorry Bro. Jorgensen!) because he didn't turn his head fast enough to notice he had begun to walk across the street! It frustrated him to no end... that and the fact that it is different every day... he never knows how clearly he is going to be able to see on a given day. He is pretty upbeat about it though...
He loves his calling and the great men of the bishopbric he serves with. He loves the people of this ward so much!

EMMALEE - is plugging away at school. She is a bit behind from our couple of months of ailment on top of ailment, having misssed so much school, but she does well in school. There is drama in the girlfriends department (it's 5th grade...of course there's drama!) and she has a new perspective on her friends everyday. (One day they will never be friends again and one day they are joined at the hip) Her Daddy is having a hard time keeping it all straight... but I just grin and tell him to wait and see what tomorrow brings! *GRIN*
She has decided to homeschool next year as well. Cody really wants her to come home this year, but we will see. The drama wears on her, she is much like me and likes balance and peace. LOL

CODY - is flying high with homeschool! We are still in the "detox phase" just a bit (where he can't function well without being told what to do next every minute) but it is getting better. He is starting to go out on his own more and more... and his list of things he wants to know grows everyday! We had a blast at the zoo last week for Free Homeschool Day! It was great!

CAMERON - is as fiesty as ever! He LOVES school... and playing with his friends. He also is crazy about the video games and the Wii. He loves it when Jess plays Wii Playground with him! He says he wants to stay in school... but is always a bit sad when we do something he thinks would be fun. I am still trying to find a balance for that... it's not so easy (just like ya said Jill! LOL)

CALEB - is L-O-V-I-N-G having Cody home during the day! He tries to tempt him with watching TV during school time, but loves it when Cody suggests games to play together. He "works" on *his* school work - which usually is just coloring or having us read to him. LOL He also still attends Preschool twice a week with his best friend Jesse. He is a handful and a spitfire. I have to "douse" him quite often! LOL

Sophie - the only pup is doing FABULOUS! She LOVES being the only dog again. I miss having two I must admit, but have decided that when times are good again financially I will. I want a little boy this time... and I may call him Sammy. Sophie and Sammy. Isn't that cute?? Jess just laughs at me and rolls his eyes.

I am doing well. My heart is getting stronger everyday. I LOVE my heart meds. They keep me more in balance than I have ever been! It is getting to be spring, so the few weeks where my Zyrtec doesn't ward off my hives is coming :( but if that is the least of my worries I will take it! I am actively working as a Realtor still too... LOVE IT! It's so fun to house hunt! I am excited about all the new programs too! THIS IS THE TIME TO BUY!! I wish we were 1st time home buyers! The prices are great, AND the government is giving $8000 free and clear in a tax credit! Hello?? No fair! *giggle*
I am still in the Primary Presidency & loving all these kids! They are so much stronger in the gospel than I ever was at that age! Their knowledge astounds me!


Ahh... anyway...there is an update! I better go! It's time for us to read our book - Summer of the Monkeys - and I have some real estate stuff to get through before I head over to the model home! Have a great day ya'll! :)

There's not a cloud in the sky...

But when it rains it pours!

I am curled up in a room where I hear the bubble of oxygen going through distilled water. There is the occasional ping of an alarm, and I can smell the industrial laundry soap smell. My beautiful middle son is laying on a bending bed, covered in wires and tubes. His lips are the classic rosey red and his eyes are sunken and dusky colored. It is cold. The chair I sit it creaks and squeaks with every movement, the joy of a disinfectable vinyl lazy boy wanna be. There is little privacy. Here we are once more. It was two years (last month) since this has been the case. Cam was admitted to the hospital with a severe case of asthma. He can't keep his O2 levels high enough without oxygen. He is back on the big gun steriods. He has breathing treatments every 2-3 hours and he coughs until he throws up everything he eats. It breaks my heart like no other. I wish I could take his place so badly it hurts. It has been a rough day. They "blew" two veins trying to get an IV in...the poor babe had to be poked 3 times and it had to be fished everytime! He is so brave. I dont know where he gets it from! He cried, but it was such a brave cry. I love this kids so dang much!! We are for sure here for the night, and all day tommorow. We pray he can come home tommorow night. He has been on the steriods for 24 hours as of an hour ago...so the turning point is coming.... XXcrossing fingersXX

I myself am covered in wires. I went to the cardiologist yesterday. My regular cardiologist was not able to meet me, but his new partner still could, so I met with him and told him all about my frustrations and symptoms. Today before Cam was admitted I was hooked up on another Holter Monitor. What a sad day for this to happen... I have not been able to accurately document all my heart activity like I should and that is discouraging, as we are paying for this and it may be fruitless. *sigh* He will be changing my dosing for heart meds, and is also checking my thyroid again. I am looking forward to knowing how to grasp the energy and stamina I was enjoying. :)

Jestin's eye is doing marginally better. He actually had some clarity in that eye yesterday! He lost it again today, but I think it was stress related. Today Jess had his first ever deposition. He witnessed a horrible accident in Provo Canyon 2 years ago, a girl he knew as a child was run over in her car by a 6 wheeled dump truck. He struggled with it horribly. And it has been awful to re-live over again. He really could have used my support today... :(

The kids have been fending for themselves with the help of neighbors for 2 days now (with Dr. visits and cardologist visits etc both days) and do it again tommorow. I feel like Elasta Girl from the Incredibles when she is stretched thin flying the van and her hubby asks "How's it going Honey?" and she screams "do I have to answer??" LOL. Oh I know this is but a moment...but man! today I am not feeling so up to this moment....

He is doing ok...

Jestin is doing pretty good. The procedure was awful to watch...let alone go through. They dialated his eyes and he really hates that in and of it's self! LOL

Then they took him in and did an angiogram. They found that the damage was more severe than they originally thought, so their laser treatments were more extensive. They also gave him a steriod shot in his eyeball. The worst part Jess said, was the shot under his eye (the block) to deaden everything. And it was. I haven't told him how long the needle was and how deep they took it because he must go back a 2 weeks or so to have the other eye done. *gulp* He will loose some periferal vision and could loose a little bit of the brightness of colors. We are praying not.

We kept teasing him to keep the mood light...and he teased us right back. We joked that everyone should have seen the "other" guy! He was big and Jess kicked his butt! Bwahahaha!They told him to watch a little wire with a flashing dot at the end of it while they did the angiogram...and we were busting up! We kept saying "I'm gonna get ya!" "I'm gonna be your best friend!" (think Nemo) and then "Good feelings gone!" Tee hee!!

I told him the look of his eyes dialated was wiggin me out...so he kept playing "Puss in Boots" from Shrek. LOL!! It was fun. I married such a good hearted man. He knows how to keep others laughing...that's for sure!

He is now crashed out in bed. His eye has started to wake up...so he is hurting and the vision coming back is making him sick. Poor thing! I am going to run now! I'll keep you posted.

Jestin's Eye Surgery Tommorow

Would you all keep Jess in your thoughts and prayers tommorow? He will be having his eye surgery. He was really nervous until our hometeachers came and gave him the most beautiful priesthood blessing. He still is a little scared, but has found more peace. He was promised a speedy recovery and that all will go well as the faith of those around him unite together on his behalf. I thought maybe I ought to remind all those out there who love us that it is tommorow so that Heavenly Father may fullfill the blessing He provided. :) Thank you in advance. I will post his status tommorow when I can....