Jestin's Final Surgery

Tomorrow Jes goes in for his final eye surgery. We are SO looking forward to it being done, he especially! It has been a long time coming, but today I am reminded of the miracle that it is. Just 6 months ago we were contemplating how we were going to meet the needs of our family as he started noticing the black spots, and his other eye was basically blind. WHAT A MIRACLE!! Here he is, getting one last touch up on his cataract and will then have 20/20 vision in his blind eye ~ and the bleeding in his other eye from the retinopathy is stopped and will likely have no more problems for 8-10 years!! :O God really IS a God of Miracles! We saw NO way to meet his eye care needs, with no income/employment and we were in complete despair.

Our gratitude is so deep and profound today as we have talked about this last year we have endured. Our lives have been walking miracles and answers to prayers. Despite the horrific moments of fear, despair and anguish, we can honestly say looking back, that the Lord has never left us alone. Never. Even when we felt alone, in our most darkest moments, in hind sight we can see His presence and expressions of love.

I have been studying the D&C - sections 6-8. They fill my heart with peace and love. Our Father in Heaven really does know us each individually and knows what we need. And we are not alone.

Today I feel stronger emotionally. I feel like all the burden laid upon our shoulders is bearable and that I can emotionally give it to the Savior now, and mean it/do it. All in all I have had 2 bad days this last week to 5 good days - emotionally/mentally. That is very encouraging to me.

I still struggle with extra un-necesary contention and expectations. I just can't seem to do it, or have the heart to deal with it. Our life is so all consuming mentally and emotioanlly for me right now, added to my physical healing still, that reaching out beyond day to day seems excruciating quite often. And so... I follow Pres. Uchtdorf's counsel and my new quote from Mother Theressa "God doesn't require that I succeed, only that I do what I can do". This is my peace. This is balm to my soul.

There ARE miracles at work here. I have received revalation in my own heart as to the way I should respond and react to what is going on around me, and I am thankful that there are days I can only do a minute at a time, instead of an hour or even a day at a time, because EVERY minute can be precious, and can make a difference.

And so... tomorrow... we are taking our morning one minute at a time. We are surrounded by people who want to help and love us. We are not alone. And these trials are creating miracles from God... why should I think I am a better artist for my life than He?