There's not a cloud in the sky...

But when it rains it pours!

I am curled up in a room where I hear the bubble of oxygen going through distilled water. There is the occasional ping of an alarm, and I can smell the industrial laundry soap smell. My beautiful middle son is laying on a bending bed, covered in wires and tubes. His lips are the classic rosey red and his eyes are sunken and dusky colored. It is cold. The chair I sit it creaks and squeaks with every movement, the joy of a disinfectable vinyl lazy boy wanna be. There is little privacy. Here we are once more. It was two years (last month) since this has been the case. Cam was admitted to the hospital with a severe case of asthma. He can't keep his O2 levels high enough without oxygen. He is back on the big gun steriods. He has breathing treatments every 2-3 hours and he coughs until he throws up everything he eats. It breaks my heart like no other. I wish I could take his place so badly it hurts. It has been a rough day. They "blew" two veins trying to get an IV in...the poor babe had to be poked 3 times and it had to be fished everytime! He is so brave. I dont know where he gets it from! He cried, but it was such a brave cry. I love this kids so dang much!! We are for sure here for the night, and all day tommorow. We pray he can come home tommorow night. He has been on the steriods for 24 hours as of an hour ago...so the turning point is coming.... XXcrossing fingersXX

I myself am covered in wires. I went to the cardiologist yesterday. My regular cardiologist was not able to meet me, but his new partner still could, so I met with him and told him all about my frustrations and symptoms. Today before Cam was admitted I was hooked up on another Holter Monitor. What a sad day for this to happen... I have not been able to accurately document all my heart activity like I should and that is discouraging, as we are paying for this and it may be fruitless. *sigh* He will be changing my dosing for heart meds, and is also checking my thyroid again. I am looking forward to knowing how to grasp the energy and stamina I was enjoying. :)

Jestin's eye is doing marginally better. He actually had some clarity in that eye yesterday! He lost it again today, but I think it was stress related. Today Jess had his first ever deposition. He witnessed a horrible accident in Provo Canyon 2 years ago, a girl he knew as a child was run over in her car by a 6 wheeled dump truck. He struggled with it horribly. And it has been awful to re-live over again. He really could have used my support today... :(

The kids have been fending for themselves with the help of neighbors for 2 days now (with Dr. visits and cardologist visits etc both days) and do it again tommorow. I feel like Elasta Girl from the Incredibles when she is stretched thin flying the van and her hubby asks "How's it going Honey?" and she screams "do I have to answer??" LOL. Oh I know this is but a moment...but man! today I am not feeling so up to this moment....