College started only 2 weeks ago??

WOW! Can't believe school started 2 weeks ago! It has been a crazy busy fun time LOL
I did post to my FLYSistah's site one night last week... and thought I would copy & paste here and then add from there (Time Saver *wink*)

(copy)
Jan 9th - Tonight was my first class... Math 0990. I have known all along that Math was going to be the hardest thing for me. I knew I struggled with remembering numbers! (Its one of the last major losses from my stroke!) I knew, even though I really need English for prerequisites to many other classes, Math had to come first. I had to conquer it!

I did well the first part of class. I took notes of all the school rules, the syllabus and whatnot. I even understood the vocabulary and remembered information I used to know... long long ago (heh heh)! I was excited! This might be not so bad! I am remembering concepts! And verbage! *happy*

Then my teacher started doing samples "on the board" from a projector thingy, and talking about number this and number that. I was scrambling to thought process the numbers he was saying and writing, and then copying them all down to my notes to make sense! I could feel the overwhelm start to take over... but I kept pushing. I KNEW I HAD to learn this or I would get behind! So I just kept fighting and pushing myself. I spoke to the teacher after class, giving him my Accessibility letter explaining my disabilities (and that was emotionally hard in and of itself) but I was still level and ok on the outside!

I got into my car to come home, and burst into tears. I sobbed all the way home. I came home to an empty house (the family was cleaning the church tonight) so I walked (ok... paced!) around the house flapping my hands. I felt completely crazy!!!!!!!!!!! I could not calm down! I finally decided to call my friend Amy (her hubby is the therapist) and talk to her. She helped me talk through some of it and I realized something! It is NOT that I cannot remember numbers! I CAN!! It's that when I am given numbers verbally or have to process them from a computer to a piece of paper... my mind cannot take that information and turn around and put it in the right order! It's similar to someone trying to speak Spanish to me too fast! I was once fluent in Spanish (all through elementary school)... but as an adult I have had to slowly process the words and translate them into English from the Spanish I used to understand immediately and fluently and it is stressful! (Perro, de verdad, mi espanol estas volviendo mas rapido despuez de mi "stroke" - hay momentos quando todos mis pensajes son en espanol!) ("However, in truth, my Spanish is suddenly returning very quickly after my stroke - there are moments when all of my inner thoughts run in Spanish!) ANYWHO... long story short tonight SUCKED!!

I just had my first "physical therapy" session since I graduated from physical therapy!!

My mind HURTS.

After my family got home, and we did a quick Family Home Evening, and put kids to bed... I dissolved into tears once again as I explained the evening to Jes. He cried too. He said he thinks that is why I am suppose to go to school. To continue my healing.

To continue my healing.

*sigh*

I am so mentally exhausted, like I haven't been in months, I wanna just keep crying until I can't cry anymore. (which kinda makes me thankful my emotions were taken from me whilst I did my other recovery stuff... good grief! I think my eyes would have been swollen shut and my nose would have never stopped running! Bwahahaha)

SO there you have it girls. My first class. I am not sure I would call it epic fail? But maybe just "holy crap that was hard". I look forward to tomorrow! (heh heh heh... um... yeah....)
(end)

It WAS hard. I cried after the next math class as well.

My other classes have gone well. I am keeping up, and though I am incredibly fatigued, it is expect-able fatigue and I am dealing with it well. This week, I only had Math once, but I didn't cry after class and it only took me 20 minutes or so to clear my mind and decompress. The ability to copy down numbers is coming faster and with more accuracy. And all the concepts have returned. It will be ok. It is just going to take work.
College homework is BIG. LOL. Lots of busy work. I feel like juggling both home and college is an intricate dance - with just a few breaks. It is going to stretch not only me.. but my little family as well. We are getting into the swing of it all though... :)

On a happy bragging note:

Today I finished all the homework for chapter 1 of my Math - 9 sections with 15-30 problems each - and the chapter test today... and I got 100%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOO!!!!!!

It may hurt like hell ('xuse my french) but it is coming back!!! :D
(With much thanks from my cute Jr. High kiddos who answer their Mommy's questions and helps her whenever she needs it *wink*)