What do I want?

I have been pondering many things the last few weeks. One of which is "what do I want?". I know who I am. I know where I am going. But what do I want on this road of life? And why do I give myself limitations? In pondering this there are a few things I want to give voice to. Some of my "wants" aren't things I want to share with just anyone... but some are! And what better platform than my own blog? LOL

I want:
* to run - At this stage of my life I cannot run well. I tried to run half a block the other day and could not do it. Now... I know I know... heart surgery and over a year of being down has contributed A LOT to this... but I WANT it. Doesn't that mean I could strengthen myself to do it? Doesn't that mean it doesn't have to happen tomorrow? I may never be able to run a full 5k - I get that... but to be able to run while playing a game of soccer with my kids... I want it!

* to have Jestin's company JWD Electric expand and hire employees full time. I know this means much more work for me... paperwork will quadruple... but this is his dream. And why not wish it big? Why not hope that one day he could hand it over to one of our sons or a trusted co-worker and use it as a retirement income? He has the work ethic and drive to make it happen... and so do I. I want it.

* to get back out of debt. This last year really knocked us off our feet. Every penny saved was used to live, and then every credit line we allowed ourselves to have was maxed to live as well. It is not gargantous amounts of debt... but it is WAY more than I ever wanted ourselves to be in again. In hindsight I am SO thankful for it - we could have lost our house otherwise - but I am ready to take back control of our own funds. I want it.

* to have a temple date with my spouse at least once a month and to go by myself multiple times a month. I want to peace I find there. I want to commune with my Heavenly Father about my children and spouse and calling and family and friends and work etc etc. I really want it - so why haven't I sought after it more fully?

* to take my kids to Disneyland again. We had SO much fun. I am ready to go back. Debt paid off and we are GOING! I want it. They are small for such a short time - I want to make memories!

* to finish my yard. I really want a gate to hide the junk behind the fence. I really want concrete on the RV pad to limit the flooding and to park the Camper on. I want grass and sprinklers in the backyard for my kids to enjoy and the dogs to be able to play outside. I want flowers. I want the easement paved and the concrete sealed. I want to feel peaceful in my own yard - instead of the nagging feeling of failure to complete things whenever I go outside. I want it.

* to have a more structured plan for Cody's homeschool. Right now we pursue the basic and whatever he wants - I want to be able to offer more ideas to him than I do - be able to expand more on his interests. My mind works so slow sometimes it feels as though I come up with ideas long after his interest has died. I want a sharper mind.

* to spend more time with old friends. I really miss my old friends. I have a good friend, that lives in the same town that I do, yet we rarely see one another. I feel so out of touch. I have friends close to where I used to live that I never see anymore and rarely talk to anymore. I wish my days had 3-4 hours more in them for chatting with friends and catching up. I would love that.

There are many other things I want. Sadly... the list of things I *have* to do is taking over and I must cut this post short. It feels good to voice some of my desires... maybe now I can turn them into goals and decide how to achieve each and every one of them! *wink*