Day 1 - "Single Mom"

Today is day Numero Uno of being a "single mom". We have prayed so feverently for work for Jestin, and now it has come. Much to my chagrin, it came in the form of out of town work... as in I won't see Jestin for 2 weeks at a time for at least 2 months if not longer. :( Grateful for the work/income. Disappointed about the location and separation.

Last night was torture! We all had the "impeding doom" sense going on and it was quiet and a little moddy around here. Jestin gave us all Priesthood blessings. They were short and sweet...but full of love and comfort. We got him mostly all packed and were in bed by midnight. He quickly fell asleep, but I laid there for hours listening to him breathe and just "feeling" him near me. I was upbeat and ok with it all, which made Jestin feel very happy about it all... until last night. The reality had set in and I started to feel nervous to be on my own all time... on so many levels! LOL

Today was ok. I got him out the door, kissed goodbye and on the road by 6am. I fell back asleep (unfortunately) and so when trying to help get kids out the door it was all I could do to keep my eyes open. I must have been in limbo between an REM cycle! My eyelids were like lead! LOL! After the kids left, I fell back asleep. Caleb joined me and we curled up together...I slept, he watched PBS and drank a Carnation Instant Breakfast.

We did good as a family without a Dad this evening too. I used my birthday money from MJ and Dad to get two new bookshelves for our office (they were on sale at ShopKo for half off! Someone "upstairs" loves me!). The boys and I raided Jestin's tools and put them together...

...while Emmalee made us dinner. (Taco Pizza). It was lovely. Cody asked if he could sit in Dad's seat for dinner. I replied that yes, he could since he was the "acting man-of-the-house". Cameron quickly piped up, "But am the 2nd acting man-of-the-house!"... to which Caleb promptly replied, "But I am the tiniest man-of-the-house"!!" We all had a great giggle and called to tell Dad what he had said! Dad laughed and laughed. It was Caleb's turn for dinner prayer tonight. Normally he repeats the same wording, and often needs prompting to continue on, but tonight, being the "tiniest man of the house" he took the whole prayer into his own hands. We were in stitches again when he forgot what he was suppose to ask for regarding the food and quickly thanked Heavenly Father for it, and then asked that it be "warm to eat". He also prayed with a sweet tenderness over the safety of his Daddy.

We decided to go splurge and used the rest of my birthday $ on ColdStone for Family Home Evening. I had a coupon for a free icecream for my birthday (if you haven't done it... go to their website and sign up! We all get a free icecream coupon emailed to us for our birthdays! It's sweet! Literally! LOL) and then with our local store's Monday night special of buy one adult icecream get a kid one free, we made off with icecream for everyone at almost the same cost as a date night for Jestin and I! (whisperings of affection from above I tell ya! I feel so blessed!)

We came home, ate our treat and then played a couple of rounds of Uno...teaching Caleb to play for the first time. It was hoot! He was happy regardless of whether he was loosing cards or picking cards up and LOVED shouting UNO! We had just turned on the 10 o'clock news to see the weather when Jestin called us. He visited with each of the kids, asking about their days, and then we put him on speaker phone and he offered our family prayer. The Spirit was strong and we could feel how much we are loved by this great man in our lives. The kids all wished him goodnight and I told them to go up to their rooms, that I wanted to talk to Daddy for a minute and then would be up. Caleb got a displeasured look on his face and asked "am I suppose to pretend it is Daddy tonight?" He thought I was not going to tuck him in...that he was going to have to imagine it was Dad doing it! It was really super cute! LOL

And now here it is... almost 2:30 am. I have read emails, read Facebook, read blogs, cleaned up the entire downstairs, double checked all windows and doors, rotated laundry, etc...but now I really am missing Jestin tonight. I know this is temporary. I know it is not as bad as it could be. I know others have been through this and that it is ok. WE have been through it before. It is just a bummer...and a blessing... and I think it unfair to myself if I deny either one of those emotions! LOL

I know this will pass quickly and it will greatly bless our family.... THAT I KNOW ... it's just not much comfort to cuddle up to in the middle of a cold dark rainy night...