Joy is very infectious; therefore, be always full of joy.

~ Mother Teresa

Saturday, May 15, 2010

The sun will come out... tomorrow...

Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow... there'll be sun!!!

Things are feeling better. Nothing has changed, Jestin is still out of town working. I am still struggling to be the mom of 4 all alone. Our financial fu-bar gets deeper everyday...but I feel better!

I was able to go see my sweet bishop with Jes last weekend when he was home. I confessed my discouragement with life and finance and the correlation to Jestin's calling it seemed. I told him that I was struggling with this roller coaster of "having great faith" to "utter despair". I was tired, worn out and feeling quite sick on this ride. He was supportive and kind. And then he gave me a priesthood blessing.

THAT is what I have needed! I have needed to set aside my worldly cares and focus on the eternal. In short, he counseled to not think about how bad things really are (which was comforting to have him acknowledge in a way), that my Father in Heaven KNOWS it all, but that He has a grand design in it. I need to let go of my desire to control the now and focus instead on the eternal. AND on being a mom. He went into length about that and it was HUGELY comforting. He blessed my heart to be strong and function as I need it to while Jes is away. There was so much more that I don't think I should share, since it is sacred to me... but I feel so much stronger!

I would not truly be thankful I think if I did not post the grand change in my heart, soul and feelings that has occurred since then. My Father in Heaven has given me the courage I did not have. He has given me the peace I so desperately need. And I can feel, a little more each time, that when I turn my will to His... and am simply grateful for what I have now... not what I want/need next, He blesses me.

I am so thankful for the power of the Priesthood in my life. I am so thankful for all it bestows upon me and my family. I don't know how I would survive without the power of God in my life in such a profound and life altering way. How lost and alone I would feel!

0 comments: