Hospital Stay - Part 6 - Monday

Sleep came easier during the night. I didn't care what they did to me. I was exhausted! It was a wonderful blessing that Ma's chair laid perfectly flat... and they cuddled her in blankets and pillows too... we both slept and slept. They came in and did their vitals etc, but I did not move much until almost 9:30 the next day!

The hospital physical therapist was the one who woke us up. He didn't even give me a chance to go to the bathroom, wipe the goo off my teeth or really get my eyes open... he wanted me out of bed and seeing what I could do. *sigh* At first I was rickety and slow, but about half way to the nurses station, something clicked. I could lift my foot and place it almost in one fluid motion in front of me. It took effort. A lot of mental effort. But it could be done. I had to tell him to quit talking to me so I could concentrate (the alarms going off in other rooms, the hospital staff etc etc was enough to try and keep out of my mind while focusing!) , LOL, but it was doable! YEA! I rested on a chair at the nurses station and enjoyed the encouragement from my nurse Darin (he was back again). It felt like having a little brother there with my best interest in his heart. That young man was meant to be a nurse!

We worked our way back to my room, where I was able to move more of my hand and arm, and more of my foot. My speech was almost completely back, and my swallowing was almost all better as well! As he tested different parts of my body, I explained that often in recovery before, Jes would gently stroke whichever muscle I was suppose to be using, and the tactile contact would draw out that brain pathway and I could make the move. He started trying it, and before long he was having a good old time! He told me I was his new favorite toy... and that when he wanted me to bend at the elbow, and I couldn't until he stroked the back of my arm... he laughed began calling me "Buzz Lightyear" with "karate chop action!" We laughed... but secretly I thought he was a dork! How could he be helping stroke victims and have never heard of this?? I was grateful I told him... maybe it will ease someone else's struggle some.

When he came back later, he again said he was excited to play with his "new favorite toy". ((insert rolling eyes)) I just hope it helps him be a better doctor... right?

The day took off as usual from there. Busy busy. Doctors with results did not come until late afternoon, but that was ok. I was feeling less brain-strained as the day went on and I was ITCHING to get out of that bed and make some pathways return!

Jes' grandparents stopped by to drop off my cane for me (Mom-in-law had brought it from my house the day before). It seemed naked without the bright blue tinsel with snowflakes my kiddos had decorated it with the year before. But it had the promise of freedom, and I liked looking at it.

They were both really sick, so they did not stay but just a few minutes.

Most of the results were in. The A&A for lupus was negative, but the other tests were inconclusive. Rats. (I know it is common to not get a positive for A&A even though you have lupus... I just hoped for a solid concrete answer!)

They told us they believed it was an "echo" from the previous "stroke" and recovery... that my immune system was just so tapped out it could not keep up and so it shut down the "country roads" I had recently built where the "super highway" in my brain was destroyed before... and the illness was a "huge rain storm" that washed out the roads... so I just needed to let them dry out and my brain would start using them again. *Giggle* it was a cute analogy anyway! and we enjoyed the humor.

They want me to follow up with a neurologist though. They are also really leaning toward/concerned about it being a rare form of migraine, called Hemiplegic Migraine.

I was happier with my "echo of a stroke" diagnosis... though this keeps haunting my thoughts. I have spent a number of hours pouring over any and all information I can find, and though I still in my heart want to believe this will never happen again because it is just an "echo", and I can make myself strong enough, and my pathways concrete enough, that it never will... I know I must see this through to be sure. My family cannot keep going through all of this every 6 months or so! And all the testing for a stroke is EXPENSIVE. Not that a degenerative headache cycle is any better.

I just don't know! :'(

As soon as we had most of the results (there were a few blood tests that still had not come back yet) I told them I wanted to go home. They were very reluctant... I did not have great mobility and you could tell they weren't terribly comfortable with it, but I assured them I would follow up with my own PT Brad, and that I would go see the neurologist, and my primary care doc, and that I would do a lot better AT HOME. I no longer have stairs in my home... so I would be fine.

They required one more visit with the speech therapist, to guarantee my swallowing ability, and when I passed with pretty good results (still a little catch... but that will resolve with practice) I was cleared. Reluctantly they discharged me and let Jes bring me home.

Seeing Jes walk in that door was like nothing I can explain! He looked really tired, but fantastic at the same time! I just wanted to hold him... even if it was only with one arm... and cry. He apologized he didn't bring me flowers... and I just laughed! Flowers compared to HIM??? Who needs stinking flowers??

We got home about 7:30 pm. My kids were so excited to see me. Caleb curled up next to me and let some crocodile tears quietly flow. (I think he hoped I didn't see them) We ate dinner together and then Jes helped me take a shower.

A real shower! We held each other and sobbed. What a weekend!!

Jenny came down to see us and help get me settled. She ran Emma to Walmart to get her best friend a birthday present while Jes and I showered, then she slathered me with oils again, combed out my hair and tucked me in bed. I don't know what I would do without my sister. I tear up whenever I think of all she has done for me and my family... and how little I can ever do to re-pay her. She is a gift!!

And so was being home, in my own bed, with my sweetheart next to me, and my babies close by. :)