Today is a happier day!

A check came in! YEA! I have an extra few days to finish my last little bit of shopping! woot woot! Granted it is snowing like crazy - but Caleb and I are going out anyway! LOL! I only have today and tommorow left with no kids home - and I need to spend their down time with them - doing their shopping! *giggle*

I realize my grumps yesterday were hormone induced, and yet I wonder something... does Heavenly Father take that into account? I mean when we review those certain days will He laugh and say "those sins of ommission (due to no energy/motivation) & your shortness with your kids is understandable" - or will they be judged more because I must learn to cope with them better and not let it get to me? hmmm... things to ponder.

Have you ever realized that when things are good and life floats along at a happy pace the path of numbness become ever present? Prayers tend to not be as fervent for me... I am truly grateful... but I dont plead as much as I do other times. And yet in the scriptures we are counseled to plead! Maybe I am realizing how much harder I need to work at my relationship with Heavenly Father today. I tend to rush things when I/my family/friends/etc dont have huge needs that consume me.

I am realizing that I want to study out prayer a little more. I want to examine myself a little more and peel off a little deeper this layer of human and reach more fully into my spiritual realm and indentity. There is this little part of me that feels like time is running out... I need to step it up. I need to focus more. I need to try harder. I need to be who I am meant to be and love who I am meant to love, help who I am meant to help and grow as I am meant to grow.

I was talking with some friends the other night and realized that aside from "snacking" on my scriptures I have not read anything in over a year. Oh wait! I take that back! When I was down last febuary I read "I am a Mother" by Jane Clayson. But that is all the reading I have done. I need to find something wonderful that will uplift me and inspire me. I need to look into more of Mary Ellen Edmund's books. She always makes me laugh! And she has insights that are helpful to me. I need to activate my mind and stop allowing the internet and TV and radio and cooking magazines etc to float me along... I want to take control of my mind and spirit and soul again. I feel like I have focused too long on my heart physically, it is time to focus on it spiritually. :)

Thanks for the ramble... I am going to go say a prayer... and then get moving on this lovely new day I have been given! ((HUGS))