Swine Flu

Ok. It's on my mind. Honestly with the health of my diabetic husband, 3 asthmatic children and my heart etc... it is on my mind. Confirmed? Probable? regardless: it's likely already in Utah. I am not surprised. Really I am not. These are the last days. We all know it is suppose to happen. Ok. I get that. I am just feeling a bit leery of what may lie ahead for those I know and love... and for my little family.

I am feeling a bit guilty at the giddiness I feel knowing my kids ARE home schooled as this is unfolding. The chances are diminished somewhat from that. What a blessing it feels like to me!

And yet... deep down in my mommy heart I can't help but be a little bit un-nerved by this. For those that are newer in my life - let me let you in on a brief glimpse of days past. Between my 3 asthmatics they have been hospitalized over 15 times, with the shortest stay being 3-4 days, for colds/flus that aggravated their asthma and left them fighting for breath. My little Cam's lungs have collapsed on more than one occasion. And it is just so heart renching to watch your child suffer the panic of not being able to breathe and be helpless to do much of anything to help!

*sigh* Does that make me a little less of a panic stricken citizen and more of a concerned mother? I really do not know. I am trying really hard to keep my mind on other things, and stay full of faith and not fear, that is how it should be... but the constant nag of memories past pull at the edge of my consciousness and at moments like right now...with it now in our own state...possibly our own county... if I don't give it voice... I feel like I will come out of my skin.

How's that for a happy post about enjoying the journey!? ACK! See how I am??