No more doubt

Today is better! I know the week just started! (I know!) But I FEEL it!
*GRIN*
Today I feel it.

Since my post last night I have found myself sad/discouraged/frustrated multiple times (it's that up and down I was talking about)... but as I crawled into bed last night I read the following article. It has made all the difference in my heart! Especially when I think about those "Six Destructive D's". (Go read the article! You won't be sorry!)

I have been falling into that pattern... and I want OUT!

I have contemplated it... and I think that the best way out is to start with the first "D"! Doubt. It is my first and foremost stumbling block! We have had our hopes up so many times, only to have them dashed, that I have not even TRIED to have 100% complete faith anymore. I let it simmer in the back of my mind that this could not be the answer we are waiting for... and to "protect" myself and my heart.

And that brings to mind the fact that I am thinking about it all wrong!! I need to not have faith that one particular job, or opportunity, or circumstance, or even answer is right.

To have faith in God's will is to willingly submit to whatever lies ahead... and to find the joy in it!

"This life is but a small moment..." and if I want to "Be still and know He is God" than I need to let go of my attempts to control our life, by my very focused desire on certain things/answers, and have a more general faith in ALL things. "All things will work for our good..." and I need to allow that to happen!

I can still ASK for certain things... but I need to not allow myself to be let down so much, or discouraged so much, when they don't turn out the way I want them to.

It's like the story about a little girl who loves her string of fake pearls. She wears them everywhere. One night her Daddy asks her if she would be willing to give him her pearls. She cries "no daddy I love my pearls!". He hugs and kisses her and tucks her in, saying that it is alright, she can keep her pearls. The next few nights he asks her the same question. She, of course, refuses! She loves her pearls! So he hugs and kisses her and tells her good night. Finally, one night when he asks, she takes them off her night stand and hands them to him with tears in her eyes. She says, "yes Daddy. I love you. I want you to have my pearls". He hugs and kisses her and puts her to bed. That night, as she is sleeping, her Daddy tip toes into her room and places a string of beautiful real pink pearls on her night stand.

He had been waiting for her to be willing to give up her plastic pearls... so that he knew she was ready to receive those precious real ones.
I love this story!
I have been tug-o-waring with my "plastic pearls".

The scriptures describe disbelief as the state of having chosen to harden one's heart. That is not a choice I truly want to be making. That is not who I want to be! I can't have faith and fear at the same time, I have known that for a long time, but have not been sure what to do about it. If I allow my faith of "being in God's hands" to rule my thought processes, than these little speed bumps along the way will not shake my foundation. I can give up these plastic pearls.... and keep an "eye of faith".

I KNOW my little family has been in God's hands the last few years. I KNOW IT.  I see it all around us. Why He didn't just throw up His hands and walk away from our wishy washy levels of faith and discouragement I will never know... LOL... but the reality is: No matter what we are called to endure - it will bless us in the long run. He is waiting for us to be ready to receive our precious pearls. To have the faith necessary to move mountains... or in our case just find the right job and the right place to raise our family, and to hold true so we can be a family forever!

"Faith is a principle of action and of power"

All we are asked to do is what we can do... Jesus Christ was prepared from the beginning to make up the rest. What makes me think I know better than He?

No more doubt.

Doubt is holding me back from the so much peace and joy. I have to let it go!!
It's the only way to continue to endure in my heart....