Hello all. We have had a crazy couple of days! I cannot believe what has transpired! As you all know I was headed for Dr. Affleck's office to schedule the surgery on Monday afternoon. We went and we scheduled the surgery. I still have not felt 100% about this whole thing ever, but I truly thought it was just my own fear. At stake temple night, we did a couple of sealings and then went up to the celestial room, where I felt I received no solid answers. I simply decided to pray that if I was doing the wrong thing, that Heavenly Father would stop me. And that gave me some peace.
We scheduled the Mini Maze for the 19th. As we were driving home from Dr. Affleck's office, my cell phone rang. It was my long time cardiologist Dr. Hwang's office. She said the Dr. Hwang had heard I was fund-raising for surgery and wanted to know what I was having done. I told her the Mini Maze and she said that Dr. Hwang wanted to see me ASAP. Could I come in the next day at 4pm? (this from the man that it takes 6 weeks to get into!wow!)
At this point I truly lost it. It was really sad! My poor husband! Take a worn out, emotional, PMSing woman who had finally made a concrete decision, and well...poor Jess. He got the myriad of emotions I have been squelching for weeks!I was a basket case!!
We got home and I called the Bishop. He and his wife were kind enough to come over & listen to an emotionally bulimic episode. I was so confused and conflicted! We discussed the options, and the pros and cons at length, then with Jess' help, the Bishop gave me one of the sweetest preisthood blessings I have ever received. I was given answers to questions I had not dared even ask Heavenly Father in prayer. I was told that they were not privy to give me an answer as to who would be the best Dr or which procedure was right, only that I would know it without a shadow of a doubt, and I "would know it as soon as tomorrow". Heavenly Father poured out peace and comfort and love. He gave me guidance and sweet sacred promises. I was also promised that I would live to a ripe old age (purple clothes and red hats here I come! ...SWEET!) and I was told in no uncertain terms that I needed to have surgery. My body was commanded to relax and not to let this stress me out anymore...that I was not taking care of my body by worrying. My whole being relaxed and my faith was filled up, my fear dispelled. I would know what to do...and as soon as tomorrow!
So...after having a good nights sleep for the first time in weeks...I spent the day trying to find ways to feel and hear the Spirit. It was a very neat experience! I had distinct impressions about Dr. H and why he didn't treat us so well over the last few months. I was reminded that his mother had been ill...and that she did pass away in Dec. Not that I hadn't taken that into account...but I had taken his cool approach personally when my questions and fears were not taken seriously.
(ah this is getting long...I am sorry...but I wanted you all to know the whole story! LOL!)
Any who! We arrived at the Clinic yesterday and we were almost the last ones in the office by the time we were called back. (He stayed late just to talk to us.) He came in the room and said that he was glad that we had come and then he did something I will always smile at, he blushed. He told us that he had come across our website to raise funds, and that he was deeply worried about me. (it really was sweet and almost apologetic) He then began to explain some quite interesting things to us...
He asked if Dr. A had access to the results of the monitor I had worn in Sept. I said I don't know...I think so. He then explained that the results showed him exactly what he had thought in June, and that the Mini Maze surgery would have no results for me. My A-fib is generated close to my AV node (my body's natural pacemaker.) My A-fib does not come from the arteries by my lungs, where many A-fib patient's arrhythmia are generated, and that the Mini-Maze surgery could not reach my AV node. Only a full Maze surgery (open heart) could reach this area to repair it. (Dr. A had told us just the day before that if the Mini Maze did not work, the only other option he had for us after that was a full Maze).
The room was warm with the Spirit...I knew Dr. Hwang was telling us the complete truth. He told us that he completely respects Dr. A, that he is a good Dr. and that the mini-maze is a great procedure. It is just not what will help me and my heart. He was so open and kind. He also expressed concern about us being at a smaller hospital with no resident Cardiologist on site were there to be any complications. He was completely worried about me...not at all about "losing his patient to another Dr." or about $. He explained my heart condition so fully! Although sometimes it was hard to decifer due to his accent, I have not felt this confident in the why and how and where before. We spent almost a half an hour with him.
We asked him why he did the things he did. He said that he doesn't like to do the Cath Ab in patients as young as I am with this type of A-fib because if he damages my AV node I will have to have an artificial pacemaker for the rest of my life. When we saw him for the 1st episode in June, he hoped that diet and meds could correct it. I said "but I was *on* the meds in Dec and it was the worst one ever!" He smiled and implied that is why he wanted to see me early in Jan. (after he was back from his family stuff - I had cancelled the appt because I was going with Dr. A's procedure and couldn't afford the extra office visit *blush*)
We asked him what HE could do for me. He replied that another Catheter Ablation would correct the problem for a time. He then told us something that the Spirit strongly confirmed for me while sitting there. A-fib has no permanent cure. :( We can do things shorter term, but long term, A-fib always comes back. It could give me at least another 10 years like before...if not longer now, but nothing is permenant yet. He said that the risk for damaging my Av node was 2.8%. We both must have looked dumbfounded, because he sheepishly added that he didn't like to have odds higher than 1.5%ish. LOL!! What a perfectionist! I had been playing with 10% odds and I was running with it!
He explained (so kindly) correct information on the Mini Maze. He himself recently met with the man that invented the Mini Maze in Texas, a Dr. who had over 900 of these procedures under his belt, and he only had a 76% success rate...and that rate was only for 3-5 years. Not 90% like we were lead to believe. He said Dr. A has only been doing MM's for about 1-2 years (which Dr. A told us "about 3 years") and so his success rate likely is from just 1-2 year results. Again it was confirmed to me that what Dr. H. was telling us was true.
I KNEW what I was hearing was true...but in my heart I said..."ok Father in Heaven...if I am suppose to have the CathAb done again...I need to know if it has improved since last time". As SOON as I thought that to myself...Dr. Hwang said "In the last 7 years Catheter Ablation has advanced so much, it is 50% better than before. We now can have pinpoint accuracy." Tears started streaming down my face. Dr. Hwang looked at me, got tears in his eyes, and then the rest of the time only looked at Jess! LOL! (I know he could feel it too...I can not deny the Spirit that was there!
He was so sweet. He gave us the name of the lady to talk to at the hospital. He did not allow us to be charged for our visit last night. He said his office will match whatever the hospital can do for us, if they say 1/2 price, he will charge 1/2 price. And then in his cute accent he said "Dey say fwee...I say fwee" *giggle* As we were leaving I stepped into the restroom and said a little prayer. As I was starting to tell Him my concerns (the a possibility of a pacemaker etc) I was clearly reminded: You will live to a ripe old age. and: You need this surgery. Ok. I have my answers. Clear and defined.
So! I am not going to have the Mini Maze. I have been "stopped".
I am going to have another Catheter Ablation done. I spoke with the hospital today and I was quoted $15,000 base price (with no complications) for our portion. She said that there may be some things they can do, and I told her that the church is wanting to help some and that my dear friends have raised $3000 already with the website. The wheels are turning... my life is going to improve... and on the up side... I have been through this procedure before... it is not quite as intimidating! No lung deflation for this one! I know my Heavenly Father loves me! :D
