It came to Pass...not to stay...

I am not so grumpy today. WOWZA do I have cabin fever!! ACK! I have decided to not let it get me down anymore! So I am not what and where I want to be...I am still here...I am still a mom of 4 great kids...and I am married to the love of my life and my very best friend. *grin* no more need of grumps I say!

Actually I am deeply sad for a family member (whom I absolutely adore) going through something un-imaginable to me. It breaks my heart. It makes me want to express my anger and rage at the person that hurt my loved one until they feel as bad as my loved one does. It's a funny thing. I am very grateful that vengence is the Lord's. He at least sees the big picture. I am trying. :) I am trying to not let anger enter my heart...but it many ways man! what a challenge! I am trying too, to also remember, that it does no one any good for me to be mad...it only cankers my heart and soul... and my loved one only needs my unconditional love and support right now...which I whole heartly offer. I LOVE YOU if you are reading this!! You deserve SOO much better!! And Jess and I are here for ANYTHING you need...ANYTIME!!! (((HUGS))

There also has been a lot of boy time around here today. Cody and Cam stayed home with sore throats and runny noses. Yea. The classic deep winter colds. They have had their tylenol and they are playing with Caleb...who is LOVING having them home after 2 days of mom on the couch or the bed. Cars and books on the bed only entertain a busy almost 3 year old for so long...LOL!

I am still not so strong today. I am sure it is my body still re-cooping from the busy weekend right after being so sick. My heart is grumpy. LOL!! But I got my shower this morning....and I cleaned up the paper taking over the kitchen! (now it's in the office...but hey! no milk can get spilt on any of it now right??)

I have been thinking...and since this is my blog...well you get to hear my thoughts! Lucky! (in my best Napoleon voice):

* I can't wait for spring. I am excited that my surgery is after Easter so I wont miss anything! I can't wait for sitting on the front porch in the sun getting warm with my toes in the cool dirt and grass.

* I want to take the kids to Disneyland. We planned to go for 2 years this last fall for our family's 10th Sealing Anniversary. We even wanted to take Jess' family with us since they have never been! My heart and subsequent bills halted that. Jess kept saying he would push me in a wheelchair so I wouldn't get too tired... but it didn't work out. My oldest is 10 and we have not been on a real family vacation of any kind, minus the week in Tucson, when Jess wired things at my aunt's house and repaired the roof. That was a blast...but it would nice to go somewhere that tools weren't needed and Jess could actually just relax. (if the man knew how...Bwahahaha)

* Cody (8 1/2 years old) informed me what sex was yesterday after seeing the commercial of kids telling their parents to talk to them about it! (ACK!!!) He was very reluctant to tell me, but then I was informed it is when you get naked, get under the covers, and "are all smoochy and stuff ". Thanks television. ((insert rolling eyes)) It is time to give him a little more guidance about this subject...and a reminder that it is something ONLY married people are blessed to do. It was not as hard with Emma when she was 8...but for some reason... telling my son is TOUGH! OH JESSSSSS.... me thinks it's *your* turn!! Tee hee!

* Friendships are funny. It's interesting to see and feel them change. This experience of being down so much and being more "needy" than I like really has brought some interesting things to my awareness. I have learned so much more about what kind of friend I want to always be. It has been eye opening about myself and how I respond to things I have never had to really experience before, and it gives me light and insight on how to pass on the good that I am receiving now. Friendships are all different and unique to each friend I have. No two are alike. This had made me cherish those who mean so much to me even more. Even when we are busy and we dont keep in touch like we'd like... friendships seem to never die. At least for me... *grin* And I have made so many new and wonderful friends. Having this heart condition really has given me the chance get to know more of the awesome ladies in my ward and create friendships with them as well! I am so very very blessed!

* Daytime television stinks. That is all there is to it. LOL!

* I miss writting. I miss poetry releasing my feelings and helping to heal my soul. I am thinking that when I feel better I want to take a writting class...maybe see if it will spark something in me again. And a photography class too! HEE HEE

Well...I better go. The boys are getting a little bit wild.