Leaps and Bounds!

The prayers I feel have been so real I can almost touch them. I have been conquering physical tasks by leaps and bounds the last 2 days. And I have been trying to celebrate each one! Weakness is my biggest hang up, because I get affraid to fall/stumble/mumble/drop stuff/scare the kids. I am finding that I push harder when no one is watching. Interesting how the fear of failling gets you! *blush* pride. bah. Even though I know my family would not ever think that I failed, it's hard to want them to see that, or see the "let down" in their eyes. If that makes ANY sense. LOL I think it is a mental thing I am learning I have to let go of.

BUT I realize now how much power others can have..... if you let them. When surrounded by negative influence I did not do well. At Physical therapy I am surrounded by positive energy of my sweetheart, my PT's and the other patients there to cheer me on. The negative aura that I let penetrate my mind and soul and it stunted me. BIG TIME. It was enlightening in the grand scheme of things.

Do you know... the next day... when I shook it off and really focused on kind self talk, meditation and positive energy, that is when the new brain paths seemed to explode? That is when leaps and bounds were made. I had to "clear a path" for them and by so doing, get rid of pre-concieved notions about what others are thinking/judging/doing around me.

I can succeed without any input from others. I am me...and I have no need to excuse myself for it. KWIM? I dont have to explain it. I dont have to justify it. It is what it is. I am doing my very best... and God is COMPLETELY making up the rest. As I type this, I am continually using the backspace to delete the extra letters etc etc. but I am DOING IT with BOTH HANDS! My thumb is not helping, but my pointer finger is making up the difference. IT IS FINE!!! I can't believe the progress the last 2 days!!! :)

Also... I realized I was scared to go to church... for what people might think of me with a cane, dragging my foot on and off and not shaking hands well... and I had no desire to be "in the spotlight" yet again. But I went because *I* needed to take the sacrament. *I* needed to sing the Christmas hymns and feel the Spirit. I allowed myself to let that stuff NOT to penetrate me... and I was filled... to the brim!! And it was good.

If I have learned anything from this particular trial... it is that I need to change my focus from what others may think/judge about me, and let it go. It just doesn't really matter! As long as I am being the best I can, and what Father in Heaven needs me to be, the rest is not anything I can control. I can still reach out and love all those around me with a hand that wont grasp, or a foot that drags. I can still smile, laugh, joke, encourage, love and make a difference. And sometimes it can be be about me ...and that's ok.

And I have learned that negative energy in our lives is completely detrimental. The mind cannot progress with it. We just have to lay it aside adn not pick it up. We just have to ressist the temptation!

SO! Dear friends... find a way to lay that negative energy, thought process, garbage that others hand you aside. Your heart, soul, mind and body NEED to have the positive. It brain food. We are jamming up the communication lines inside ourselves if we dont just leave it alone.
Believe me! I KNOW! ;)

And there's my random two bits for the day. take them as you will :) LOL